Just You and Me...

2009-05-11T10:10:00.002+08:00

Dear Diary,

its like super duper long as i last update... been tired when i got home from work or weekend... will be updating info soon... i must rmb if nt... hahaha... cya soon...

2009-02-09T21:33:00.002+08:00

Dear Diary,

last saturday after work... hubby bought a personal prawn rod for him n myself... weeee.... then we went prawning after that... meet up with iris too... she is still e pro lo... hahahah...

ytr my bao bei hubby was sick... caught a fever... but after medication he is getting better... weee... then we go ikea tampines for a clothes rack for myself... so lynn n me can put our clothes on 2 racks... then walk around ikea is like walking a maze... so big n confusing... but we manage to get to e cashier to pay it...

today is working day... slept late at night rushing my cross stitch... hehee... then after work go amk to buy my drawers coz i'm organizing my room... trying to pack them up nice n neat... if not hubby starts nagging at me liao... think i gotta go liao... bathe n also do finish my cross stitch... hehe... bye...

2009-01-30T11:09:00.003+08:00

Dear Diary,

CNY is over le... collect a number of red packets... so is hubby too... mom and dad flew off to beijing on e 2nd day of cny..power lo them... then worst e family i hate came to my house for visiting on e 2nd day in return they dirty my house until very jialat... living room and tv room is like rubbish... watch out... see what i will do to your house... chaos... muahahaha... 3rd day went out again for visiting to hubby house... then to ah huat's house n etc... ytr went to weihao's house... haha... hubby stay overnight at my house... we slept in e study room... 2 of us slept like pigs... Zzzzzz... hehe... then went out to eat breakfast cum lunch wit hubby then went rounding in e afternoon... hahah... so bored lo... then fetch hubby home... then kana fine... wtf... sians ar... but its ah yi's birthday too... HAPPY BIRTHDAY AH YI

today... work resume as usual... so sians nothing to do... feel like searching for pets.com again to help hubby find a pup... i contact back e owner... but most of all there's a owner giving it for free... yorkie pup... kawaii... near cck area... now waiting for e reply... later maybe take 1/2 day off go find hubby... then go buy mommy's tan present... so sian ar... think i better go finish up my stuff then at least mom come back see that i got do things... hehe... bye...

upcoming evening:-
-jean ong birthday
-go out wit hubby to town... buy shoes clothes or anything i like... but save $$$
-go irene house for visiting...
-double O... cant wait to go...
-valentine's day... hehehehe....

2009-01-24T21:15:00.003+08:00

Dear diary,

today nvr go work coz got a sudden stomach pain... the pain jumps here n there... now it still pain... hubby know about my pain n rush down to look after me... then after he asked su to cook noodles for me... then i rest on e bed hubby lie beside me n also fell asleep... heheee... 2 sweet couple sleeping... then later i go wash up n prepare to go hubby house... coz today celebrating his birthday... think later i going to treat him a bottle of martel... hai... today so sad no present to give him... he dun wan n i dunno wad to give... but he stop me from thinking of settling e bill... that will make him veen more heart pain... all he wan me is to be by his side...

k la we are going out le... muacks hubby happy birthday...

2009-01-23T22:27:00.003+08:00

Dear Diary,

yesterday night went out for a drink with hubby and ah wee and his wife... didnt know they stay so near to 9 9 house... heheee... on the way to meet them... hubby keep calling me baboon coz he make me so shy until my face red like baboon... then later he went over... i got angry... he keep apologising to me when i return him e ring... he knew he went too far le.. and stop then went to a nearby coffeeshop to drink... drink and chat till 1am +... then fetch hubby home...

today got less then 4 hours of sleep but i'm still awake... then work like crazy... then atlas it end... tml is hubby bday i dunno wad to give him... i asked him but he doesnt want any thing... arrr...

events coming
hubby birthday... drink to we drunk...
CNY wee... hong bao... n money...
Jean ong birthday...
Irene house inviting...
Valentine Day... what hubby going to give me... so excited...

Ps: i love you hubby... i always do... i cant wait to see you... my heart aches painfully... i love you dearly...

2009-01-19T15:19:00.006+08:00

Dear Diary,

its about 1 week i'm sick... yesterday i drove down to town with hubby... its cool... saw 3 lambo & 1 ferrari... e lambo are damn cool... my fav. cars especial e 1 in matt color... wee... sound so good that me & hubby were in cloud 9... zoom zoom... hehee... then we parked at cineleisure & walk to wisma hahah went to e wrong side of e road but we plan e route well... at wisma we went to do my watch... yup e tag heuer i tot it was spoilt den i put in e box never see it & send for repair when they took out its actually working... omg... make me so paiseh but i ask them to check for me in case it happen again... then while waiting hubby ask which watch i like... i just glaze around & saw a $3600 with diamonds & black strip... duno whats is he up to...

hubby bday coming soon... duno buy what... funny thing is i asked him straight away... he said not sure... i know he like e gucci belt but he didnt wan me to buy too ex... then in d end he said he wanted to put tattoo instead... that will be on friday night... he happy i happy... hehehe... then we went to causeway point to eat pizza hut & buy barbell and earrings... then we saw a hong kong famous actress... rock on...

hubby told me about ah joe n justina... so shocking but justina didnt know is by telling things to ah joe will be telling to ah di n my hubby... coz they are best brothers... then hubby told me... justina is planning to break us up coz she is jealous of us are always happy and loving everytime we go out then while her's n ah joe's wasn't going too good... then ah joe got remind hubby saying dun listen too much from justina... hai why friendship must end this way... lets not care le then we rush back to cck coz hubby meeting ah joe n ah di coz got problem then they all go down teban talk... so sad i cant go... furthermore i got work... then i reach home i show everybody my new dress... wee...

then hubby do thing until 6.30am with ah joe n ah di... then he later called back coz he cant sleep... but nw i think he is soundly asleep dreaming of me... hehee.... so sweet... nw working n waiting for his call back... hehee... he told me he dreamt about our marriage... and he said things in his dreams do come true... so i'm looking forward to that day... weee.... and i've seen a doctor to cure my damn sickness... coz CNY is coming soon...

Note: Dun even think of pulling others into a big shit if u got one & trying to break up others... forfit u will get is a sad ending with ur love one...and it come true... GOD is punishing you for your own doings...

jealousy ends hurtfully... crying wont solve problems... fighting create more problems and headaches...

VOICE OUT anything.. BRAINSTORM/DISCUSS ur problems.. LEARN from ur mistakes always.. TREASURE your love ones well...

i may look decent at times but try nt to break me n my hubby... i can go rough at times depends on situations... but i'm always weird n unpreditable but i jus wan to do things e perfect way... so try not to play punk with me... so behave... we are all young adults n adults le... its time to grow up...

USE YOUR BRAIN AND THINK...

2009-01-09T23:01:00.002+08:00

Dear Diary,

today so kinda busy at work... me and hubby didnt sms alot... so sad... he woke up quite late... and i was busy wif projects calculations... but hubby he... he... woke up and fell back into his la la land... hahahah... so cute... BUT

good thing was his mom started talking to him recently... weee.... my heart is so cooled down... these few days was so tensed... "worried when will they talked..."

My assumption is
GOD did tell mommy tan about hubby case... thats why i wan to take this apportunity to thank GOD for helping hubby and got back e conversation wif mommy if not everytime i go their house they having cold war...

now everything is back to normal... and i'm happy.... hubby cya tml... cant wait... nites...

2009-01-08T18:03:00.003+08:00

Dear Diary,

Jean i've receive your birthday invitation le... and today is 1 busy day... but i keep missing hubby... he got up early for interview at 2pm... hopefully it goes well... cant wait for his reply... then during my free time... i check out some blogshops for new clothes... some caught my eyes but e cost n design are not what i want so are e sizes too...

LISTEN i'm declaring from this day onwards...
1. NO FATTY FATS...
2. LESS RICE MORE VEGE N MEAT
3. NO OILY FOODS...
4. CUT MY STOMACH FATS... I found a lump of fats... so disgusting...
5. REALLY GOT TO TONE UP...
6. SAVE LOTS OF $$$$
7. NO BEEF...
8. CHANGE MYSELF...

*** seeing e ring you gave me... i miss you more then ever... ***

i think i should stop all my stupid stuff and face e reality... e world is real... time flies superb fast... its e year of 2009... i'm 9 more months to become a young 21 woman...

2009-01-07T18:17:00.003+08:00

Dear Diary,

its already 1 week after 2009 enter earth... and last week i and hubby went to amk hub to choose our rings... weee.... very unique and sweet... i've been busy at work so is hubby... texting is our communication but we still do call... today is one angry day... to this mother f*cker who impose using my number... and so call name joseph... make sure u better run damn far... if i catch anyone ANYONE... your better watch out... i dun care best friend or WTF la... own up or be cursed till e earth dies... YOU GET ME... CURSE U F*CKER WIF A BAD HELL OF HAPPENINGS... yeah you heard me... watch out... want to play wif verni... come say it in front my face...

*** Releash my stress.... now... say hum... and cool down...****

hahahha... now i'm cooled... i miss hubby... he closed shop late again.. so many ppl come buy things... good sign... looking for clothes... i need clothes sexy ones... for hubby birthday... wee... these days it hard to find nice looking clothes... i want it cooling... nice...

decided to delete e past ugly stuff in my blog leaving e good memories and present... hahaahh...

LASTLY CURSE HELL TO ALL E PPL TO DISLIKE ME... FRIENDS WHO ARE NOT FRIENDS AT ALL... CURSE YOU ALL HELL...

2009-01-01T19:47:00.002+08:00

Dear Diary,

Today is 2009 1 January... a new year to come...

i been gone long coz working lo... then lots of things has happen... happy always but sad for sometime... 21 years old liao... adult le... weeee...

events gone:

- chalet open by sim...
- birthdays...
- ernie's wedding...
- trip to korea...
- speeding most of e time in my volkwagen converter with hubby
- going to see site with daddy
- and many more...

yesterday countdown was superb... met up with hubby's ex-gang peeps about 70 ppl came to orchard... so stun to see so much ppl... then i saw tarin... long time never see her liao... then we head down to vivo... saw ben yan... hahah i was supprised... den slack at vivo till morning... when we go off... cant get a cab lo... soo much ppl... keep stealing our cab... hubby got angry... but what to do... hahah he was stressed...

now at hubby house... for nearly 1/2 a day liao... getting hungry le... hmmm.... hubby still sleeping so i decide to blog lo... cant wait for hubby to give me my special present... hahah... think i got to go liao... chao

2008-08-05T01:31:00.003+08:00

Dear Diary,

2 august 2008... Edward's 21st birthday... yea meet hubby to go outram... its still fun to be around with hubby even if we are lost... romantic time together... then took a bus down to his house... still got lost... then hubby went to talk to a uncle (in hokkien)... to find blk 4... its good to have hubby around... love him so much... edward's cake and his pretty facial by family and friends.... nice one...

hubby left early before xiuting they all come so too bad... next time bah... then sime and irene was kind enough to sent me to grace birthday... at prinsep st opposite paradise centre... hahaa... manage to take a photo before i go off... its good that she is happy with her boyfriend... all the best...

2008-07-30T03:20:00.004+08:00

Dear Diary...

today is our 1 month aniversary... say yea... YEA!!! so happy... i bought a vest for hubby... cost me like $40 but worth it lo... so haahaha... o gosh... the vest is like not iron yet shit la...

hubby coming my house to wake me up to go out to town... wonder what he going to get me again... after his brother threw away his 1 month present supposing that he will give me but end up in the dustbin lo... sian... hahaha... i drop tears as i heard it... OMG which human is so brainless to do that... WHY??? WHY must it be my present.... (crying)

then we went town area to walk... before we left the house he gave me a necklace... so pretty... i wore the whole day until i reach home... yea... i was kinda bored coz i didnt study before going out... my mind was kinda away... coz my studys... but he was there to cheer me up... he didnt wanted me to be sad... den we were stop by a guy for model couples shooting... hahah...

our beautiful one month aniversary in front of isetan (taka)... no bike cant go far... muacks i love you hubby...

2008-07-17T21:13:00.005+08:00

Dear Diary,

lovelife:
is like decades i've update my blog... hahaha got myself in love on the 30june... name: john tan chi li and i love him alot... hehee.... the first guy i had is so devoted to me... and i did the same... he is different from the guys i had before... the tallest to best fighter guy among my ex to the most crazilest to everything i cant imagine.... he's great though his past life abit ugly... but he's willing to change for me and with me... towards our future... but we still sets freedom for each other... so understanding... he show me whats life... and the real ugly world... though his some kind of ah beng... but he is not then he got a ren (endure) on his back of his neck.. wow i like that alot... i totally shock... the first guy i received a kiss unwillingly but in the end i accept... coz we were jogging not slow walking in the relationship... i didnt want him to end so fast like the other guys i use to have... but he prove a little wrong... we are still stable... hahah

school:
exams for cert are finally over... the questions came out shocking... marketing was a deathmatch for me... i'm sitting in the exam room like an idiot... the questions see me as i look back... i cant write out a single answer in the paper... omg... i'm going to fail again... gosh... i so scared... but hubby tells me to relax and calm down... hahhaha i did settle my bills of california fitness... and still got a few more to go and i'm out of there... thought me a lesson to decide first before going for a decision making... next time must ask hubby whether can go for it... yeah good idea... hahah... failed my QS quiz 2... i'm so unlucky for few days... both me and hubby also the class group too... project cannot make it... this and that... sick... i got bored of coming to class but no chose i still got to end my dip no matter how long it takes i still got to finish it... hubby wait for me k.. i will your mrs tan... jus wait... hubby ask me to concentrate in my studies first...

yeah nets for me is ending soon... coming saturday and sunday... last two days... yeah... hubby taking his bike on saturday and its our first baby... yeah... hubby rmb what i say to you wor... heheee... we will start saving after we settle our bills of everything... and we set free from there... isn't that what you and me want... a world of our own... no more troubles... lets strive to our goals... yeah...

2008-06-30T22:04:00.003+08:00

Dear Diary,

after school go find johnny boy hahaha then we walk to farm mart... so long never went there le... fun but not all the stores open... there really got alot of bees... ewwww... then got a shuttle bus back to lot1 shopping mall hahah imagine 2 idiots in tapered black jeans walking in the hot sun... whahah.... thanks johnny boy... all the drinks you paid for me... appreciated.... hehee... companied me go see dogs... hahah we both loves dogs and cheese...

things to get soon (saving money):
1. contact lens
2. police brand old school sunglasses
3. branded items

2008-06-28T18:53:00.003+08:00

Dear Diary,

hahaha some photos i took on thursday morning... look... its my new sunglasses... old school... and shorts... sweet lady..

hey everybody try getting use to my face without spects k... coz i thought of getting contacts le... but now saving my money first.. hahah... cute... yeah den i can be normal again... no more is a frame whole...

2008-06-22T15:05:00.005+08:00

Dear Diary,

21.6.08 went to airport to fetch my grandparents... i drove... yeah... damn shiok... hhahaah... afternoon went to uncle leong's new house... didnt eat much the food was little but feeling only... then went to airport to eat breeks not bad... first tryout... anyway dad's paying but i order salad and a muddy choco... the drink is not nice at all... not blending at all... two total different taste... eeeucks... hahaha fetch my grandparents home... my honor... suddenly felt the SUV no strength cant run lo... sian... but stupid lo... i driving then they talk about sports car... make me drive too 100km/hr... they suddenly say slow down... hahha my wish list: lamborgini sport car... nice... another is andre told me cant remember the name...

photos i took at MOS on 20.6.08

that day... went to meet aidan at yishun to slack... we talk cock at the way... have tons of fun... at 900+... hahah catch up with you soon... misses... 4 months never meet lo... wow... unbelievable... so i decided to take a photo with him...

2008-06-14T20:17:00.002+08:00

Dear Diary,

today morning send my grandparents to changi airport T3... so good they go taiwan... my family got discuss about tour too... so sad i cant go until next year... hai... life is like that de... hhahahaha... then after ah fu send us back coz only mom lynn and me go... jean went to school... dad went to work... then we go home rest for awhile and head down to AMK hub to get our stuff we need... the cab driver talk damn lots of crap... very sian lo... whole day i'm quite satisfied... coz mom pays most of them... wahahah... so i bought a silkygirl blusher if i'm not wrong... a pair of shoes for school... 2 Bras pink and blue... heehee... sweet... whahah... Size: up one size ... hahaa sian... then we continue walking... grace call to check weather i can negoiate with mom about the package to 24 sessions... later ask her... then we had dinner at hooked on heads at upp thomson there.. or sin ming there... nice... then my turn to drive back... yea... talking about that... dad want to buy new car but i still dont know what is it yet... mom says he is crazy... then also dyon too... his dad gave him lexus RX300 his 2nd car... my gosh but too bad dyon cant drive yet no license... so he is like asking me to drive... nice try dyon... i still haven master the road yet... hahaha... love too but its dangerous if i drive better not... keep it to yourself... k... :P

2008-06-13T19:29:00.002+08:00

Dear Diary,

today gym at California Fitness (Novena)... fun but super tiring... but worth it... met Grace my personal trainer... had fun there... burn fats too... hahah... then after shower liao go school... hahah i reach damn early about 1pm like that... so i ate and waited... miss my psp... lent it to dyon to put more games... hahah... then after school go find him to collect my baby... dyon ng... ask you help me charge my psp you never... nvm i think he damn busy cant blame... blame myself... Friday 13 Denise birthday... no invitation at all... i thought they forgotten me... until i was on my way home... told you jo... hai... so disappointed in you... nvm... forget it... i am so tired and sleepy now... go eat my dinner le...

2008-06-13T01:45:00.003+08:00

Dear Diary,

after school went to buy my maths book and appeal for exams yeah... settle liao... but soon i dying of hunger... then after rush down to find dyon and his friend... then go Plaza Singapura to find irene... heeheee... chat with her then go see shoes and the boys go smoke... then 3pm we go eat ajisan... ex lo one meal... hahah... then 5pm irene go back work... have to wait for her until 8pm... coz having dinner with them... me n dyon go walk walk... PS to cathay to parklane.. den we decided to rest at parklane... den we go one decerted corner... i decided to take photo with the botak... then so weird lo... 8pm coming then go buy my tights and we talk talk talk... eat dinner we go home le... yeah later got gym... 1st day... chao super sleepy...

2008-04-18T01:17:00.005+08:00

Dear Diary,

16 April.... the day i can drive already.... i pass my traffic police test.... yeah... damn freaking happy... then went to work and to meet irene for her birthday dinner at seoul garden causeway point... didnt eat alot as stomach only can take in very little... didnt got her anything cause not enough cash to survive... but hopefully next year 21 birthday i and jean ong will give her a big present.... hahahah dyon in camp botak boy liao... hahhaah call to wish her a happy birthday too... angeline all the best in ya english sub-paper...

17 April.... mom told me she got it for me... yeah no need to buy... FOC from mom... hahaha...

2008-03-28T23:50:00.005+08:00

Dear Diary,

at night, went to find dyon, irene and sim at admiralty park... a place where i knew very familar... my old house... northoaks... i miss that place very much... heheee.... then i reached and walked very slowly... and guess what... they have not reached yet... stupid sia... but after a scolding from me to dyon i feel shiok... but not the part where i have to help them carry the heavy BBQ food... nai bei turtle you DYON NG... i supposed to be the guest not Vernia (another sister of Maria) baka... and the part of helping him with the applying of hotdogs with butter too... damn i hate it... but i still had fun playing with the little girls (his cousins)... hehehe they are so cute... but his siblings were shock that i still can remember them... except i didnt greet his mom... cant find her... how rude i am??? a lot of his friends came... lots of bengsters and liansters... will never get alot with them... sad to say... very uneducated or maybe i'm too old for this... i and irene were the only 2 oldies there excluding the family members... OMGH!!! but we didnt stay for long... irene's dad came to pick us up around 11.15pm actually wanted to stay out late... for a pub or club... but i realise i got not enough cash with me... so sad... spent alot today and yesterday bah... going to help out in the office soon... I NEED POCKET MONEY... ANY JOB VACATIES... ANYONE??? i feel like trying pub... but i'm may not be suitable for it... as late nights and mom disagree and not up to the standard...

2008-03-23T21:29:00.003+08:00

Dear Diary,

yesterday night went out to find jo and angeline to chill at cityhall starbucks... then we took a detour walk down to cineleisure... not bad for a night chilling walk... injured my leg... ouch but its okay... went to watch a movie Semi-Pro with jo angeline denise andre n keith.. hahah keith comment my dressing... hahhaah very different he said... means its a good... after the movie.. denise jo and angeline went home... i follow andre and keith cause i didnt want to go home so early.... as it was 3am+... so we went down to chinatown mac... chat like hell.. all of them bully me... then andre frends came down to find us... he came... then sat till very early morning... andre send keith home and me to tampines interchange and we reach early... so we wait in the car and listen to music... leong ask me why i like him... but because i shouldnt hear i didnt answer him... i thought he was talking to someone else while playing my psp... Leong if you were to see this message... that's good... My answer will be... i really dont know why i like you... its just a hit in the head... i find that you are a cute and interesting guy... but because i haven get to know you better thats why i never confessed to you yet... my heart keeps beating faster when you look or talk to me... i myself also dont know why... people says love is blind... i believe that... loving someone has no reason... so its ok that you dont like me... but you cant stop me from liking you... but dont worry... i will let this fade away... as i know the both of us will cannot be together... good bye Leong... crying...

2007-10-12T16:32:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary,

Everybody i know the next update of my blog is like freaking long... no nid to say i also know... i'm so sorry... but i will be updating my blog soon... i know alot of your are wanting to know what i have got on my birthday few days ago right??? i will will show photos soon... and some might shock the hell out after you see my most expensive present i've received and i'm going to wear it tomorrow to meet zhanhui they all at AMK Hub... get ready to be shock by me... hahaha... some of your know what is it already... but some of your don't know right... wait and see me lor... hehehehehe... i cant wait to go back to school on 5 nov... yeah... Study... Abit sad coz my family decide to go on a holiday without me... so i'm asking anybody want to go next year... more info tomorrow... n mr soon zhan hui has agreed if the plan is smooth... but i wishing to go on a trip with your... miss the malaysia trip with sc.. heheh... erm zhanhui suggested to go taiwan... so nw asking for more... i would like to go Genting or Bt Tinggi in malaysia but... Trouble... so any cheap places to relax but no cold places thanks... i dont want to go to be a sick person but to enjoy... FOOD... SHOPPING... SCENARY... MORE FOOD... MORE SHOPPING.... Yahoooooo.....

2007-10-01T09:59:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary,

i'm changing from bad to worst... i didnt know what got in to me... what's happening??? i went out to meet enghan adrain n dyon at yishun... den met up wif cheryl sis after dyon went off... we went to watch a movie... Balls of Fury... den we went Bishan Pub... i brought Grace along... den we order Drinks... n play pool... i drank n got drunk... i walk out wif grace n told her many things... n i send her off... dyon the extra follow... duno for wad... den send her off le i went to the playground to relax... hoping to let the giddiest goes off before i reach home...

Feel for stress... so many things are going around my head... duno wad to do first... Feel like dying like that... as i rested on the bridge... n dyon he sat there waiting... as i closed my eyes... Why isnt there any rain to cover my tears that are crying in my heart... or a soul to calm me down... feel like shouting n making a freak out of myself... but i was too tired... dyon nagged at me asking me to go back... as the nite is getting late... i slack slowly... feeling really confused... n wanting to punch some one... instead i used dyon... sorry i shout at you... or keep a distance away from you... i was too stress out... many things happen n i am scared... its touching dat ur care about me... "must look after me" hahaha but dun waste ur afford on me.. a girl who hates herself...n has many disgusting remarks given by people from the past that she just cant keep erasing it from her mind... For wad?

Awaits death to bring me away... when the rite time comes...
i will say "i will bring your pain n mine away... n thats the time the world will go peace"

2007-09-16T14:58:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary,

its has been long i've update u.. due to my 2 lappy has unable to surf online... i'm always bored at home... i miss my msn friends... sob sob...

been busy with alot of stuff... went to catch a free movie with my sis "Hairspray",

Benjamin Chew's mom birthday at sembawang.. we reach a little early n took photos...

7th month prayers, food fair n games show or something n bump into mr herman there,

Arcade free unlimited games for Nebo card members, register myself to PSB Academy, ruShing my driving lesson... passed my final theory n my traffic police test is on the feb 08... soo sad... planning my birthday...

A shocking news my lexus is renamed botak lexus... coz he cut hair le..

2007-08-27T00:14:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary,

Thursday (9.8.07)
National Day (Singapore Birthday)I and Grace went sentosa to tann... Wore red n white... Coz we love singapore alot... hahah

After that i went to Grace house to get her jacket as she was freezing cold... but in the end we slack there... that later she friend called her to come to northpoint macdonalds... i made new friends... aidan n alywn peh... a cute n lovable twins to chat with...

Saturday (11.8.07)
My shopping day, woow... guess what i've done... My pocket got hole le... after seeing grace friend at newurbanmale i bought a $49.90 sandle than walk down to takashimaya and bought 2 harley davidson shirts at $51... and did got my chance to eat KFC for dinner Yummy... Cheese...

Sunday (12.8.07)
The carnival at sengkang... so hot so bored and so Sticky... but the go-kart boys aged 4-12 years just cool me down with their looks... than went down to SUNTEC to check out the nicholas teo concert... there open place... too hot and sticky and only 4 damn fans... so bored... coz its not my cup of tes lor... saw harley davidson bikers passed by... so freaking high... but good thing after a nice Carl's Jr meal... it just make me go Burpppppssss....

Monday (13.8.07)
Went down to SSDCL and met aaron there... what a small world it is... josh he is going for motorbike this time... cool man... After that, Rush down to Heeren to meet Grace n her frend there at Balcony... Saw a cute ABC guy there... and this girl grace hate.. known as *B*I*T*C*H* is working there too... i order finger food as i was kinda hungry lor... than mom starts nagging at me as the night is down till very late... drank something new... House pour RUM...

Thursday (23.8.07)
Went to driving centre after my work... than meet up with my family for dinner at upp thomson rd there... ate ramen... n saw bernard n hazel too... and it was raining heavily lor... than dad fetch us to Vivo... coz of the lexus club movie invitation we got to watch Hairspray for free... Yippy... nice movie coz of Zac is in there... heheh... but worst thing we got to get a cab home... sob sob

Saturday (25.8.07)
Took my day off from work... went down to BB ITE to see their investiture training... than went to meet grace at yishun mrt n took a train down to Pasir Ris to check out my Birthday stuff... than go down back to yishun to meet cheryl to take a book... than went to do grace project... than eat.. grace call up aidan n alywn... den they came down to have a drink...

Sunday (26.8.07)
Jean Irene meet up at heeren... all came late... but i was still the earliest to arrive hehehe... den walk walk... irene went off 1st after playing arcade... den me n jean go heeren to buy ring... den go balcony relax... i call grace n aidan to come... but sorry i didnt cal u alywn... scared to disturb u... hehehe... i drank n nearly drunk...

Monday (27.8.07)
Heheeehee... manage to update my blog... yeah... atlast liao... yeah but i brought home the work... sob sob sob nid to do at home... sian arh

2007-08-08T21:12:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary,

this whole week after grace birthday i been out with her none stop... some pictures we have during our outing... n taken at coffee club at raffles place... nice place to relax.. my laopos dun wori i will bring ur there some day... k???

than tomorrow national day... yesterday went to buy a red and white jacket just for it... tomorrow a day with gracie... going suntanning... yeah...

2007-08-04T23:18:00.000+08:00

Dated: 3 Aug 2007

Dear Diary,

yesterday was grace celebrate her birthday at east coast park... quite fun... ppl i know who went down was the usual us... 4I n 4J lor... den grace clementi friends... chat a little but go there still did myself happy... cant hyper for that time being coz they mite not be getting use of the me now... too crazy for them... but they know 1 day n probably that day is my birthday that day... dun worry guys n girls i will invite u all...

den today grace actually birthday... shocking thing when i ask her... she wasnt book at all lor... so i book her n went to her hse to pick her up... she wore the cross i gave her... n too show me wad aaron n ivan gave her... OMG u 2 are f***king prevert lor... give her a sexy panty... we went town to walk walk... saw some stuff n chat damn a lot lor... frm this to that n in to out... aiya everything lor... den we went to lucky plaza play pool... have a lot of fun... frm cineleisure to hereen to lucky plaza to citylink to marina square to raffles city den lastly down to raffles place... she was going to find "somebody"... hahaha... we ate kinda full be4 going down den order drinks n a cake... den i bought her a small cake to celebrate coz yesterday didnt manage to ate her cake be4 going hm... she was so touch n "nearly" cried... cute le... den somemore 1st time saw grace actually blush at him... hmmm both blush lor... sigh... den me the "bai chi" down there like very extra lor... hahaha jk jk jk... did i told u we talk alot of lame jokes... and cold jokes... hahahaha... den tml i book her again... so she is 1st time going to meet jean... my honey... yeah... den she see how i havok liao... hahhah i should be slping soon... tml is another rocking day... so nid some peace if not become panda tml liao... nitey to all...

2007-07-30T22:47:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary,

my weekend was great but still kana bag by mom coz sat went out to bugis wif enghan n supposingly shirley was to turn up... Pangseh... den he two of us walk and chat den wakl and chat... den we decided to go to zhanhui's house to collect his cd... reach hougang i bought shoes in case my legs really hurts coz i wore high heels... but manage to tahan until i reach home... then at zhanhui hse we met junyan... he like some of my songs den we were bluetoothing each other... den enghan left to meet his friends den later junyan too coz he was slighty down wif fever... poor guy... he went home den mayb meeting us at zhihui sengkang hse... cool first time going there soo excited... den pay the damn cab fee... sian 1/2... ya good friend u r zhanhui... asking a lady to pay... my goodness... but too bad he was broke... onli got $10 after i bought cookies frm him.. ate my diner wif my pangseh friend shirley... n later rushing to go back as it was getting real late... pass midnight... damn shirley wanted me to stay longer... josh i went angry coz mom's nagging... try staying at mandai wif two tigers waiting for u to get home... and further more meeting irene the next day coz its play time at excape... again i noe... but only the 3 of us... irene me n her bro... 1st timer there... but overall was fun... jumpqueue a number of times coz we got onli 3 and we jus fill in the rows... ahahha... some adults were showing off saying there drive very slow... den i was behind them making those funny faces... trying to make irene n her bro laugh... den did drift alot... and manage frm the last driver to become 1st or 2nd in place... cool right... den got one time drive until no petrol coz too much speed le... hahah but was fun... and i'm going again... next sunday irene invited me go her estate there to have a game of arcade and a minister is there... cool but hoping no cameras on me... i dun wan to catch my face on tv... hahha.... anybody interested pls contact me wor... hoping more to go wif us and enjoy... and jean is coming too... den after escape we play arcade for few mins den i alone went to meet engahan coz he was booking in that day too... saw so many army guys soo handsome... some wore civilian clothes wif army bags... dun look down on them wor... they are higher ranks den e one in greens... i saw one i think he was loooking at me too.. but many were staring at me... hmmm... wondering why... is there any things on my face... stare until like their eyes saw gold liao... hahhaha but i had fun...

2007-07-25T20:38:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary,

what is wrong with me... why am i getting pissed off very angrily... i HAtE Myself i hate my attitude... i hate everything that is in me... i want to die... grim Reaper where the hell are you??? i'm going crazy every day at home... i want to kill people... i want blood... i want fresh... and im so confused... i'm sick n tired of living in this world... i canot take it anymore...

2007-07-21T19:59:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary,

today is the day i didnt expected it coming but later i was so happy i nearly jump up and down crazily... hahahha after work mom dad n me went to fetch my youngest sis back from tuition.. den they thought of dropping me down at northpoint to get something to bite 1st as my Final Theory Trial Test was starting soon in 45 mins... i call enghan than he wanted to meet me and accompany him to meet Dyon... but sorry man got Trial Test wor... but a good news to everyone reading now... i pass my trial test... Yahooo.... Yeah.... than got home to play maple... i'm back and i'm in Ludi... just play for the fun being... than play until dinner... today QueBec sms the whole day about his girlfriend thingy...
what happen to me these days... hahaha.... people who just break up or confused in their relationship and etc... they will come ask me... or i'm just trying to comfort my friends only... Ya i'll just stick with the comforting and that will do... hahahahha...

den Luke came to me and Lynn... and guess what he told us a lame joke and was the first funniest lame thing that come out from his mouth... and he is only Pri1 only lor...

Spider-PIG, Spider-PIG
Have you seen the Spider-MAN
Spin a web of any size
Box his head
And die on the floor

the ending is a little off le... but it still funny right... not bad le la... hahahahah... now cant wait for the day to pass sunday going escape wor... yeah... havoc sho...just came back from outside... guess what i just caught 2 more toads and now i've got like 12 toads in my container liao... from small to medium and to large bout a hand size... wowww... so shiok... mmm thought of catching a chamelon and put together with them and see the results... wondering... hahahahha...

2007-07-18T21:08:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary,

ytr was a cool day... everytime the instructor praise me i will stalled the car lor... bout 10 times lor... hahah so funny learn new skill left rigth indicators and drove the opposite direction... cool man... onli the 2nd lesson and he told me next lesson i can drive on the road le... i guess... so excited but soo sad the next lesson if i can book is 31 July lor... so long hopefully i dun forget... and guess wad my instructor noe fabian too... so coinsidence lor... btw fabian u left a ntuc thing in the car... and rmb to go back revise...

den jus nw jean my sis complain toads jumping around the garden... den swey lor... become zookeeper to catch them Su caught 1 toad... i caught 7 toads... hahah... den hold them in my left hand... quite sticky... eeeewww....

now missing Class Integrity and mdm rosnah very much... miss those days... when can we have a gethering like the last time we use to have... sob sob...

2007-07-16T20:10:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary,

today i had my first lesson for practical... waaa so confusing stalled the car 4 times wor so paiseh lor... looks easy hard to control coz its my first attempt so a bit like octopus lol... left leg press right leg press and handle den this den that... aaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrhhhhhh.... so many things to learn lor... ben was nice coz he tot of tutoring me... hahah but i scared spoil his car la... after like 2hrs lesson has end... OMJ lor... my turning is not bad but after i change gear i will stall the car or i will jambrake... but the instruction was nice... named bernard... but still very scared after all... hope i can break my fears...

2007-07-14T15:07:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary,

yesterday was a time where i went crazy lor... not becoz its the friday 13 also known as my lucky days... after work i fetch my sis home from school than get change and wait for the time to go out... Yeah!!! went to watch Harry Potter... than i met up with irene 1st coz she was to find a job but instead we got ourselves in the acrade playing games... hahah fun... than xiuting came to find us but got lost coz amk got 2 taps cards arcade and we were at the amkhub X-Zone but she was here and she went all the way to Jubilee hahah.. cute sia... than manage to find us le... hahah playing like for 1/2 hr be4 we stop for a rest next door... nebo thing... o ya the nebo i and irene went to get 1 of those card... cool promotion and 3yrs $30 onli... rock on... and many other stuff in there... got a goodie bag too... not bad la... den got a MIP card too like taps also... good thing they got death note background... if not i duno wad to put liao... den nic and chimliang duno pop out of nowhere... josh i tot he wasnt coming coz i received no news frm him except my beloved successor chimliang den wanqi was there too.. book and buy the tickets ready be4 seats last out... than got to know new friends but just a caual talk lol... than main thing was got to know this guy... kk looking onli think shorter than me... and worst our birth-dates birth-place are the same... OMG!!! can you believe it... spectacular shocking news i've ever heard and see lol... mayb he is my lost and unknown brother how... Arhhhh.... hahahah joking onli... and than we rush into the cinema after buying pop-corns and drinks coz the timing lor we got in jsut in time after a slight introduction and begun to start everything... the show was total rock on when all of the sudden i felt like going toilet... stupid sia... but nvm it was ending soon like left 3mins+ lidat... hahah... drank too much water liao... so ppl advice go watch movie dun drink too much water k... bad expreience lor... see so nice liao want to go toilet spoil my mood... den after the show den had a great time.... thanks guys.... verni giving your a great warmest hugs.... and muacks....

2007-07-10T22:40:00.001+08:00

Dear Diary,

today i'm a little sleepy coz not enough sleep lol... dad went out-station and no transport to work... take taxi lor... really lor... go office really i nearly "eat snake" in the morning hahaha... Shhhh... AhYi come fetch us than head down to the hospital to see my gong gong yeah... he have moved to the normal ward hehehe... everybody there say he so strong after a major operation to remove a varth and transfer another that links to his heart coz its not functioning enough blood to it... but now he is recovering fast... (smiles...) than he.... doctor ask him to stay still he loves moving about... aiyo head pain sia... from the bed to the chair den to the bed... hehehe 1 more thing was he drank a little of ice lemon tea wic we brought in... Hhahahaha shhhhh that one really cannot tell... than worst want to eat durain puff.... hahahahah....

2007-07-07T18:17:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary,

yesterday i went out with the Cg and went night shopping with them... but we went to have out dinner first before heading down to bugis V. than they are very funny too... coz desmond and seth hahaha... than kexin ate the i love singapore sweet until her face was so red... coz it taste like chili sambal flavour... den vivian gave me one to... den we play number game coz we had leftovers and guess what... biondi pris and me got it... and so we ate... everyone was like waiting to see me eat and see my expressions... coz kexin gave a hot and spicy look with smoke coming out of her ears... haha... but me i did went red but i can stand the spicyness so... not so wowww... hahaha... not fun de... i know...

den mi kexin pris bought pen very cute wor... coz they got toothpaste looking pen and i got cigarette looking pen... den went down to shop with kexin onli coz pris went home.. den she bought a top... and me i bought 2 tops and a skirt... total i spent $46... den lots of them went home le... most funny thing was i was the first to come and last to go back...

waited for the damn taxi about 1hour lidat... and i thought was like normal cab to pick me but i was wrong... a volkswagon taxi came... starting price was $2.70 sian 1/2... reach home 25mins after 12mn... so sad no money liao...

but i had fun playing around and joking anybody i can...

2007-07-03T22:09:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary,

Content about today...
1) Dad's attitude in the eyes of the Chong sisters...
2) No money but pay-cheque is here
3) Air-Vin Services Pte Ltd
4) Poly registration coming soon
5) Driving
6) Grandfather going to operation soon
7) and etc...

on the 3-7-2007,

in the office,

lucia resign (WHY ?),

dad in ICU (oic),

Ms Tan resign too (Huh? bu shi bah),

become PA (so good got more $$),

Alex going off too (another one sian 1/2),

want to become own boss(aiyo),

bought mom a present be4 GST increase to 7%...

SK necklace cost me $168...(waaaa so ex),

no money liao...,

but pay-cheque comes in just nice,

about the gossip,

Dad is the one (can change topic anot),

a santa claus in everybody eyes,

(WHY?)

Cousin no Hp... (his father wont buy for him huh),

No Hp huh? i give you lor... (F*** la),

scold us even if we are in the wrong or not too

(crazy sia),

i always wonder is he really my father anot...

or some crazy man...

no father love since young...

last time we do but until my youngest sis came...

no more... and a step higher than other ($$),

no more...

lets stop talking about him...

if not i will be thinking of ways to take my revence...

but mom no matter where she is...

i will find her... i will treasure her...

i will never let her undergo stress...

when the time is right its my turn to take care of her...

poly registration,

coming soon...,

driving practice...

next next monday onli (waaaa so fast wor)

gong gong going operation...

after chatting with nic abit...

i actually very scared loosing him..

so is everybody...

but i must be strong and and always be strong...

sorry to all people regardless of young old or whatever...

i admit i've no respect to anybody... your cant blame... not becoz of no canning of what but i just want to say, its my family background that you can never understand except the people in here...

i was very timid and quiet to my elders i respect them.. and never talk back in the past... but always seeing the people i love very much being talk back and eventually laugh at... i may bring down the face of my family becoz i'm a EM3 standard... but u can never look down at me and my family... we have conflicks and gossip so bad about my granny till i've change to protect them... and not to respect anyone... ANYONE...

and now "chosen ones" i hate most probably dont talk to me coz looking at me might give them nitemares hahaha... but what to do... i was just protecting my love ones...

thank you for letting me share

with you my hidden stuff...

saying out makes me feel better....

and people like dyon, mdm ng (dyon's mom), and many more...

though i gave your a bad impression in the past but

now i seek your understanding to know a little more about me...

(you can ignore but i hate to leave such a thing in your hearts)

so no bad feelings when i come to clear it..

and taking them away too...

Hahahah..

Peace...

2007-06-28T23:21:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary,

today is a new day a new office woman i can say... kinda friendly chatable too... can work well in future i guess... with my sucking attitude... haix...

how long will i need to work to get my targeted amount of money... $1M

hahah... seeing tracy's blog remind me of something... my past.. but its just a little... no big deal... very touching story to read... but mine i felt its kinda bored... but what to do its bout my life... Shhhh...

missing all my friends in ITE... and too City Harvest Church pals... though i'm not Christian but friends can be made... all are busy... but not to worry Irene my darling is accompany SHopping at bugis cool right... Awaiting for Singapore Great Sales... Hopefully i dont shop till i drop or maybe to say till i pok (no money) hahaha... funny...

Been wondering been a model issit really that good... though i have the enquires to be one but mom is still always the best to ask... hmm... how bout been the most youngest and sexiest and cool worker in my own company or probably in the industrial... hmmm i think i'm the only one who is only now 18+ and working in an air-cond industrial...

Joke:
1: " Waaa so Cool man..."

2: "of coz its cool la... the air-cond is blowing directly at you lor, den you want hot meh???"

1: "No..."

3: "Hahahahhaah (lets all laugh together)"

2007-06-27T21:31:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary,

a boring day to start again... working working working to kill time... pissing my mom off to give mi lots of work... dad le... still nothing... mmm today is interview day so many women looking for job as clerk all so old... the youngest is onli 38... oldest hahah 50+ also have... den dad side there also have... looking for technician too...

so happy got my mini fridge... i redemp frm dad credit card... hahah... can put a couple of stuff in also not bad la...

still waiting for my damn photos dyon owe mi when we r at seoul garden... hey hurry will u???

yes i think i saw the email dyon send mi le... yeah... atlast... josh nid to do editing... mmm whether i got time anot... everyday not at home.. shit...

Help mi ARh...

2007-06-25T18:55:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary,

yesterday i had a great time with City Harvest friends... i met Elaine my 12years pal... sooo suprised she was there... i made more new friends... we went into groupings than got people i already knew on saturday... cool... than we played a game call small red dot... its just a small red sticker we got to find in the given locations... but we got to walk from place to place... tooks 1/2 hr to find 1 red dot... we manage to find 2 though we aren't the winner but i had a great time... but some of my groupers don't find it fun...mmm tooo tired maybe... den 6pm need to report to Old Market... very famous in the past now i think not really liao... den we all gather coz the game end at 6pm... than we can chat and relax... but best part was i told people i stay near a cememtry a cold chill went down to most of their back... hahah.... thats fun... and i still wasnt tired after all those walking... than went to arcade to play a game or two before going home...

Thanks everyone... a great memory to keep....

2007-06-23T00:40:00.001+08:00

Dear Diary,

Currently stress with a lot of questions now... After chatting on the phone with Zhanhui that day... Talking about the past and present and lots more... Why am i no longer looking for another guy? Did ... really regret after knowing me better? Am i really still waiting for... ?? What are the bad things (weaknesss) i have all along?

now i'm thinking... Have i change to the person i always wanted to... or still the same old Vernissa CEV... if haven, what the hell am i doing for the past few many days? How can i prove myself to be that person? How long will i take??? What are the many things that you are regarding too???

Questions!!! Questions!!! Questions!!! Questions!!!

I didn't know... i got so many... i can't take it anymore...

Why am i so Stupid, Stubbon, Idiot, im-matured, not independent, Short-tempered and weak????

STUPID IDIOT WAKE UP...

2007-06-20T20:24:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary,

So many days had never been in here to update you... these few days i was very bored in the office and no mood... the day before enghan enter army... we called our SC people and some new friends mi enghan chimliang n jiaqing made at sentosa a week ago... there were a number of 19 of us attended... 3 tables of SC and 2 tables of self-group... we all had fun and i organize it that day... shocking thing was JunYan came... but in the end the bill was too a very nice amount too... and Shirley didnt turn up that day... if not i wouldnt have fort out $10... U OWE ME $10 SHIRLEY TEH... WHEN CAN U GIVE ME BACK? i'm waiting.... going to no money soon...

Working Working Working from monday to friday office hours and saturday a half day.... but saturday morning was book up by my Driving Theory because i now trying to rush my Tests and Pass my damn Course... I want to Drive... My Wrangler.... sob sob....

These few days irene still kept in her cage for 4 weeks... i guess... i miss her very much... after her chicken pox den another thing... IRENE I HAO XIANG NIEN NI.... jean too been busy... xiuting too been busy with her work... god thanks she is soon no longer in that company that eats people money... hate that kind of job... what selling health products and earning millions.... all this are bullshit... one phase i know... money easy come and also easy go... and free cars and.... Ferrari... hahaha totally stubbon people will believe that...

Tracy has been out to malaysia... Enghan has came back from NS due to having a fever... than Kexin asked me to go for her service at Expo... still thinking... Crosses... i'm feeling very weird and uncomfortable now... i just want to go shopping.... GRIM REAPER!!!! ANUBIS!!!! HELP ME!!!! but a little happy is i'm dying to get my 2GB memory card... muahahaha.... cant wait to save songs i love... movies... wwwaaaaa.... heheheeh.....

2007-06-07T22:24:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary,

today i updated a new blogskin... a new life reborn n a new blog to type too... everything is going to change... me... him... my frends... n everything... i hope everythings is going fine... n wishing everybody to smile n live happyily... SMILE dats wad i'm going to do... n if not... i will Smile but stabbing u at the back... if i'm angry onli... but these days dad is giving me the nerves... but i'm chilled dun wori...

2007-05-14T19:51:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary,

duno wan2 say or not... but its for him to find... i did told all e guys i have dated be4 but not him... coz every1 wishes us dat there's no future in us... but dats e reason y i wanted to b wif him... i wan2 change his future... i wan2 help him... but nw seeing a leaf fly off my hands... n join the rest... its happy n sad for mi... but keeping it lock in here is no use at all... Free i say... ur Free... Go find ur love liao... bye bye... n yes i also be ur frend... if u nid mi can always contact mi... if u nid a shoulder to cry on yes i will still lent u... coz i mus be e strong verni... canot anyhow break down... but e fact is i duno how... so hack care to it... so frends dun nid to wori bout mi i wun kill myself... or injured myself... but i onli know how to torture myself... haha...

i'm sori irene i didnt wan u to wori or hate mi coz i did smoke onli 2 sticks... but dats e past liao... wads done is done... so dun wori i not going to take up smoking anymore... coz i mus rmb... IRENE JEAN NICHOLAS WILL COME KILL MI FOR SURE... hehe... so dun wori but if i did... go ahead n do wadeva u wan bah... but dun do until to far la...

k la happy smiling always e verni is here liao... yahoo...

2007-05-13T17:32:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary,

the day before mother's day... a day i will never forget... me n him is no longer together... wondering its a happy thing to ppl or sad thing for me...

feel like crying but its just hurt in my heart no tears nth... but too pain dat i can never forget... irene scold me in amk park behind e mrt... but onli a little i did... den it started to rain heavily... irene was angry wif mi a smoke 2 sticks yesterday... too stress n didnt know wad to do... n i did... be4 lunch n after lunch... i felt gulity but wads done is oready done... i cant change dat... its realy hard to forget him jus lidat or even becoming frends... he lied n lied... but i believe wad he said... forgiven him many times... but every1 agreed dat he is realy not for him... i just wan2 prove them wrong... but he prove me wrong... i just duno wad to do... nicholas rasul yongsiang thomas eric cared for me... i'm glad... but i will just keep on smiling n just become a workocholic n not finding any more guys...

y mus i come to this earth... y mus i hurt so many great guys... i'm sorry...

i will just b dat bad girl who doesnt understand ur n keep hurting ur feeling... i think being single all e way is best for me... n best for ur...

n for dyon u... friends... not at e rite time... when the time is rite i will give u e answer okay... not nw... it will b too hurtful for me to face u... coz breaking down inside but showing a strong girl on e outside rite nw is really tough... gud bye

2007-05-09T18:27:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary,

maple is getting bored for both of us... i jus saw his lvl was so high... but mi still at lvl 34... 60+% for exp... den cant too muc... too tired due to work... as usual... but in there is getting bored coz no work lor... I WANT TO WORK... but no1 seems giving me anything... today learn something new... open my company cheque... i'm so nervous coz i scared i write wrong... but never happen today... den also morning catch another rat... veri small rat... nw my stomach everyday is getting weirder n weirder... coz i'm eating lesser den be4... way lesser... 1/2 or 1/3 of my food usually i will eat up e leftovers but nw i eat lesser den my fat dad n mom... hehe... heard frm my frend... she said its a kind of illness n if i keep on going to b lidis... i will have a stomach something cant rmb e word coz irregular meals n eating so little... den dinner i'm ok... able to eat 1 plate... but morning n lunch i cant... jus by looking or smelling at e food i dun feel like eating liao... but my stomach is making noise... my body is so not co-operating together... headache sia... den nw missing dyon... i will tent to sms him when i'm free eventhough i didnt get a reply e whole day... but i at least did my job... but realy wan to get a sms back frm him i will b overjoyed but mus see wad type of sms he msg back la... nw waiting for enghan to sms back something... when can we go sentosa... i miss going out wif u guys... n sentosa... so long never go there liao... mus destress... hahah... n so happy my korkor jackson married liao... die die mus invited mi go... den i can bring DYON go too... so working n missing him everyday is wad i'm doing everyday... listening to music too when i do my work... hahaha.... k la i guess i better stop here... mom is nagging at mi liao... chao...

2007-05-02T21:02:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary,

today i sms him alot of things about sunday hoping that i wouldnt give him a misunderstanding why i did on that day... i told him every single move he did and i did and why... people have different points of views for example.. manage to hold a girls hand than she let go... why? was she shy...? no... did she hate her guy... no of cause not... den what the answer... becoz they are entering a temple.. its kinda funny to people who hear this but its not funny to me.. maybe its the believe in the person that made her did this... she wanted to stop the timing when her guy holds her hand... she wants to talk to him but she was afraid that things might didnt come out the way it was... so she keep very quiet and slience all day long on sunday afternoon to night... though she spoke to her frends a little but she was hoping to speak to her prince... coz she miss him so muc... but she was so scared to ask the same old questions and might letting him feel bored n sick... so she keep slience... she looks away when he looks at her... coz she dowan to show her sad face and changing his mood too... though thats was her biggest mistake... she felt gulity and told him... she waiting the whole day for his reply but there isnt any came back...

yesterday night she ask friends of hers to help her out as in giving advice what she can do... 1 told her alot... but in the end he ask her to ask another friend who is much closer to her prince... so she went to ask another friend in the end she got a scolding... and worst.... she cried n cried duno what to do and very confused... wanting to help her prince knowing he needs help but didnt tell out to her... her keeps asking herself y wad wrong wif her... did she did anythings wrong dis time...

she change to a new better girl... a lady... but she finds that her prince still very unhappy wif her... yes she changes... for herself... but actually its for him her prince... nw the princess is keep in a place where she stresses herself.. n asking lots of WHYs... WHY WHY WHY

2007-05-01T10:37:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary,

so many days i had never turn in near to type my story its getting complicated and i now still dont know what to say... we went out on sunday than irene and her bro and dyon went to play arcade... i didnt play cause its a waste of $$$$$$ i can say... jean was totally shock when she heard me the verni saying that out of my mouth... but its true... jean and me talk in private and she did ask him about 'US' she told me the answer was so oddvious lor... i still dont
know until now... i currently cant tell what he's thinking... and waiting for his answer... he still treats me like a total stranger when we met and i just will move away cause no point coming close to you myself and hug you and hold you i will end up the same like before the old me... and i dont want that... i hate my old self... then we went to eat thai beef noodles... and i realise is dyon did move near to me but i jus dont care bout him... the feeling i felt in him first when will are in the acrade is like he is very confused hurt sad... i dont know... i want to ask him but i cant... something stop me from doing that... than at far east... i bought shoes a pair of white high heels... irene was the first to know cause of my height haha... that's funny...

i've felt he had problems but he doesnt want to share them with me... but he jus told jean when we r on e bus on the way to serangoon... i overheard abit... i'm sori... but didnt heard alot... during the few peaceful days... i really want to send him a sms but i didn't... i really miss my guy... but i use work to stress myself and now i becoming nearly a working woman... irene jean scold me about that but in the end they still accept me being stress cause someone didnt want to talk to me and reply my sms and answer my calls... that's why... but i realise working is not so bad... people goes work with a tired face... though i'm tired and keep yawning i still feel happy going... hahaa...

after we got down the bus... we walk to have our dinner... only the three of us jean me and dyon... we pass by a place then he hold my hand but later i let go... cause (cant tell) than we went for dinner than took a bus back... he fetch jean home his sis.. but not me... feeling funny... but i knew what's going on at the back... they going to talk all the way... i just went home but my family came to fetch me instead... so good free ride home...

than my sis suggusted to have night and let's go man... its was a history when i last run... and i and my 2nd sis run out... pass the highway before the bridge and than we run back... than reach back my house i nearly black out cause run until so far without any proper excerise and jus run... hahaha... then dad and 2nd sis lynn went out for 2nd run... i and 3rd sis jean went but she cant go far so i and her take turns on the bike... than later i got hold on the big bike... the new bike we had... than me and 3rd sis ride up slope before dad call us back again cause its was dark already... than we went home... we all sweat like hell... water taps i can say...

than yesterday we brought the two pups of ours out for a jog but it was a bad expreience with lexus so strong... he nearly went off leash... but 2 people is better than 1 to hold him back... so tired too... and now my legs are in pain but its ok... excerise more is good...

2007-04-11T22:50:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary,

today working den work n work n work... den few more hours be4 going off... when i was doing alot of work.. hubby call mi... cant entertain him but jus chat n hearing his voice claims mi down... like he veri important to mi rite... n yes he is... coz he my lao gong wad... hehe.... k den we hung up i rush my work... 1 work i nid2 do nw doing n typing hahah... n msn chatting... yeah finish my work liao... den go enrol in e driving centre... daddy pay hahah... den go hm eat... o ya tml mi new hp will deliver to my hse... yeah...

2007-04-09T21:44:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary,

these few days i have been veri confused.. still trap in my hollow world... not knowing whr to go n wad to do... but in my mom's office helping out... should i do wad my parents tell mi or dyon tell mi... 1 is "go for working in e morning den go for poly nite-class...." d other is "dun go for nite class.... if wan onli do 1 not 2.. u will b tired... veri tired..." HELP mi i realy dunoe wad to do...

think i work den work hard.. hubby u n mi mus jia you.. hm... sigh still thinking.... wad to do...

2007-04-02T20:59:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary,

these 2 days i did went back to my old hse in woodlands crest... Northoaks Condo... jus a 30mins walk away frm Dyon's hse... he told me his ex gf lives there... May Hao is her name... veri familiar rite... den dat saturday Mr Eric Tan... e tenant not u Leric my frend... he did not turn-up n was giving e agent n mom n of coz my grand-dad who drove us there too had a headache... worst dad's not back yet frm Macau... den e hse was pitch black... n wind blowing in frm e windows though we were staying in 15 storey... but shocking was e hse was badly damage, dirty, empty n smelly, like a deserted hse been left down there for many years... i was so angry when i saw it... a beautiful hse become a kanasei hse...

today went there after lunch den took photos n it seems better den in e nite... dad n mom were there... dad contact e agent... n made a police report... den ltr i accompany mom to e management office n told them bout e situation they recognize him... gud... n e guy's wife's car was been towed away due to not paying e Land transport... hahaha serve him rite...

if dat guy spot by mi outside... i gonna skin him alive or burn him... but he make sure mus settle his bills if not... he is DEAD... i gonna curse him to hell... may grim reaper takes his life n burn his soul... torture his soul n fire-burning hot oil or freezing cold larva ice... n so his loves ones... i make sure he cry n beg in front of us to ask for forgiveness...

u can mess wif my dad.. u can mess wif my mom... but u mess wif mi when i'm not in e veri gud mood... i make sure he suffers to death... may god punish him...

2007-03-28T23:19:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary,

i went to his hse dat day den i was being lock out coz he got no key to open... wanting to walk away but my legs jus stood there chatting wif him... until he found e key out of no where.... i'm been working these few days in my parents office... den they ask bout my future path... i still cant decide whr to go... but wanting to b a... (dats a secret... hehehe....) tml dads going overseas wif fujitsu company... n bof my parents r really busy... tml i still got stuff to do... arhhhh.... i'm so tired.. i nid a massage... my back n arms they are killing mi... i miss my hubby... hoping him to give mi a nice relaxing massage... but cant... we meet veri little these days... tot of asking him out... like a 1 to 1 date... this idea can throw into e trash bin liao... coz he told mi he's going to stay at hm n play maple the whole day.. n wif his maple gf (real god-sis)... sigh... mi jus a noob... also a noob to everybody... dyon chimliang vivian fabian n whoever my frends r playing in there... nw i'm lvl 23... but dats gud tooo mi coz i try to lvl up everyday be4 i go slp... but e hurt is still in my heart... A NOOB... in visual reality or reality i'm still a NOOB to maple player's eyes.... o(T . T)o

hubby i miss u... i so scared to slp at nite... i having scary nitemares... but u said they r fairytales... n every nitemares r all almost e same... LOSING U in my dreams... though i told u hubby be4 but u will jus laugh at mi n my nitemares....

wad am i going to do??? how can i erase those scary nitemares in my head....

2007-03-24T11:33:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary,

2 days back was me n my hubby's 1month aniversary... i went out wif irene n jean to hougang mall den go find xiuting... den ltr we go walk walk eat n chat... jean told mi alot of our things.... (mi n dyon) nearly cry... jean keep scolding mi coz i didnt do my part as a galfrend... but fact is i dunoe how to become 1... i wan2 trust but i dunoe... i ask for advice n teach mi how to.. but ppl told mi i cant teach u u have to learn it frm urself... i veri sad n headache... i love him alot... but i dunoe how to express out... i dunot wad to do.... HELP!!!

den after lunch we go amkc play acrade as usual... but after dat i left $2... coz $10+ went to my aniversary persent... hehee... den go his hse to give him hoping he's at hm... n yes he is... den dunoe wad to do or say... after jean told mi soo many things... den he open a topic out n we talk... but i wan2 tell out but i cant figure out wad to say...

Crying little Girl Girl... jiu ming arh.... Help!!!

2007-03-16T20:50:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary,

today try to relax my mind den do my work... den ltr afternn lidat my special person called mi... i was kana shock but its was all missed calls... coz my hp connections is malaysia line.. sian.. no wonder dyon cant call mi... den i call him using e office line... den we chat abit coz his hp no batt... den me rush up all my work be4 we go off... somemore ms tan not here hav to do nearly 1/2 of her work... den paste drawings... waaaa...

reach hm jean ong call... ask mi wad happen to mi n dyon... but we r ok... jus dat i still not fully recovered yet... frm my inner self... den went out for dinner...

nw reach back hm to play maple... mus level up coz dyon lvl 31 currently... OMG... mus catch up... den we chat again be4 he go bathe... n play more maple..

Count-down nw : 6 days to my 1mth aniversary... so happy... me got him smth but its still not enough... den wad is he going to give mi...??? smth or nth?? hm...

still got no news frm RP... m i going to end up here or going to sign up for private... hm... irene same as mi... cant get in... we mus jiayou wor... hubby u too...

2007-03-15T22:43:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary,

today dunoe wad to type... erm... go out wif my mom n sissss n maid... den we buy clothes... den everywhr i go... my mind is jus DYON... DYON...DYON.... i miss him... i jus cant stop thinking of him...

i breaking down... den i sms rasul n irene... irene told mi to give him time n space... think i m not giving space bah... den somemore stupid me still ask him so many questions at 1 go... stupid me.... but i was worried at dat time... i'm sorry Dyon... pls forgive me... if u nid space pls tell mi... u nid anything pls also tell mi... coz i dowan u to find me like a mother keep nagging at u... n i wan to change coz i read smth bout our horoscope... n i wan2 change our future to b a better 1...

i nw giving up alot of things in me... n i nw worried is about Poly n YOU...

jus open e letter box.. still got no news of my poly thing... its e end of my life... whr can i go next... wad to do??? pls god send me a answer or hint...

i cant hold it anymore... i'm going crazy soon

2007-03-14T17:27:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary,

yesterday was e most wonderful day i got... a present frm hell... starting i met irene den we walk around be4 we head to escape... having fun as usual but e thing came... sian 1/2... den went off lol... den go out nearly being knock me n irene down coz dis female driver den we went to NPC to report...

reach e MRT we wait for e rest to come... den saw my hubby tot everything will b ok... but he's going off around 8pm lidat... ltr at the chalet... dyon n adrain n irene drink.. i wan2 drink a sip also canot... Y? not fair... den tot going out to drink den xiuting lirong wanqi accompany me... den we bought other drinks but my drink couldn't pass... den dyon angry i angry... somemore i got dat stupid monthly thing i fuse up even more... i nearly a scene out of myself down there but i didnt... i jus walk away... he rode off...

we reach e chalet... we cut cake... den i sms hubby sori... but we didnt talk... he went off quietly i also dunoe... until irene told me.. i jus wan2 cry but cant cry out.. i wan2 die my legs dun let me...

y mus i b e jinx to spoil everybody moods frm happy to sad... y...

i nw veri sad... cant slp got nitemare n woke me up at 5+am... n injured my neck.. nw he dun talk to me today e whole day... my body at work but soul is looking for him... i veri scared he leaves me... i veri scared... veri scared... i dun wad to do oready... i dun wan2 lose him... o(T . T)o

can u let me have e chance to understand u better... pls...

R.I.P. Verni on 14 Mar 2007 time: 2030hrs

2007-03-12T17:47:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary,

today go mom's office working again... but never eat my breakfast coz today's menu is bread... eeeee... i hate bread... eat until i scared liao... den wif a empty stomach until lunch hehehe... actually wanted to go to hubby's hse pei him wan... but mom ask mi to accopany her... so hubby veri sori i really wan2 b wif ya... but sigh.. den together wif mom lynn n dad eat lunch den dad drove us to OCBC Bank HQ... so big... n 1st thing me n my sis rush to e toilet... hahaha... den at 1st cant find den atlas we found but its sooo troublesome... den we jus come out can go off liao... mom was waiting for us at e reception liao... wondering how long we took in the toilet... ??? haahahaha... den we walk down to UOB jus around the corner only... den walk down to chinatown to shop but in the end mom got 2 knee-length pants... while us got nth but nvm thursday i will get smth for sure coz i aimed for a top bottom shoes dress... n see anything nice tooo... hahhaaa kinda spentdrift rite but my heart veri itchy liao... nid clothes to go out everytime wear e same thing kinda bored liao... den nw trying to get into maple be4 hubby keep calling me newb again... sian when e patch can b done...

2007-03-11T15:41:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary,

yesterday went to suntec for IT Fair '07... shock to see was thousand of ppl there... n i rush down frm work... when i reach there... i got a difficult time to walk foward or backback.. kana push by many ppl somemore i veri thin den nearly fall down too... lucky got irene but she push mi n i wore a mini skirt n my company shirt... ugly meh... i find it ok mah... den i bought 2 SD card for mommy coz she wans... den still got somemore but i give up coz also too many ppl n veri hard to breathe coz a timing really nearly black-out... nearly la... den be4 going off i went to find dyon got a hard time finding him coz 3 lvls n i dunoe whr is he station at... but knowing is Halvey Norman... n den ltr n Microsoft... sigh... but in d end manage to found him... coz he is Mr White Spects... mi is Mrs White Spects... den i pass him e router thing he was looking for... den i go hm myself... seeing my hubby very excited coz so many days never see him liao... den he somemore veri busy... hm... k la... den i never joining e rest coz dunoe y... dun feel like going anywhr liao...

ltr at nite i sms him alot making mi think alot but i guess he must be tired bah... but he reply onli 1 or 2... but its ok... but pls let me know can??? coz i dun hav special ability to read ppl mind... if u find me irritation also let me know... coz i dun wan ppl to hate me... n giving stupid faces at me... veri scared... they onli gives me scary nitemares...

To: Hubby i love u...

2007-03-08T22:57:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary,

never update u for quite some time oready... lots of things happen... work work n more work... den yesterday went down to dyon hse around 3+ 4pm to pass him e Ms Office cd for him to install... den sit there until 5 be4 we go out... dat was e 1st time hubby saw mi in a dress... n i was like raining when i reach his place... coz walk veri far to his hse... frm e busstop... he was rushing to suntec to set up his work.. for today... yup its e IT Fair '07... can go find him... den for mi i meet up wif irene to go to simei ite for her sec sch concert... BHSS concert... fact: its kinda boring onli e disabled n other interest mi onli e rest i was like making fun coz nth to do mah... den e "boy" seated behind mi keep kicking my seat... n further more... i haven eaten my diner.. n if i'm really hungry i mite gobble him up.. haiz... den irene dad fetch mi hm frm lavender... den we chat... laugher n silence n talking n lots of wobberling... got e lorry go ups n downs... fun man... den reach hm eat noodles...

den today work work work n work... arhhh... but nvm cut paper help mom n dad... den slack around liao... hahahah nw chatting wif my hubby... hee.. i'm on cloud 9 lol... whole day never talk or sms... abit uncomfortable... but nvm... hehee

2007-03-04T21:51:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary,

so long we hav never seen each other liao... everyday we contact through sms or call... n i'm missing him but i wan2 meet up wif him... but scared he busy... dat day help him wif his council namecard... my family saw him liao... but onli my mom know about us... e rest all dun... but once we r stable n moving to e next step den tell bah... k hubby... nw working everyday... body at work heart at somewhr else... but hubby is working soon liao... sigh going to skip class liao... today shuyu told mi she got shot by nic n aida... sigh sc stuff... but jus b her listening ear lor... knowing so many things happen n i jus hav to sit there n do nth... no chose... but wishing them... but i cant stop thinking of my hubby... jus dunoe y... miss him tooooo much liao.... (crying) nw my cough is getting better liao... but nearly lost my voice... but its ok... o ya... jean called mi early dis afternoon... reguarding mi n my hubby... hee... mi told her liao...

maple story: lvl 21 bowman...

yeah hubby i upgrade liao... 40 more lvls to meet u hubby...

2007-02-27T07:19:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary,

yesterday came back before 11pm... coz went to PS to wait for them den suddenly feel moody... den go buy earrings veri eygpt... my favourite.. den supposingly going to eat subway but ltr change to yoshinoya... but its ok can save $$$... hehee got Zhihui (ah gong) irene simon zhanhui n mi.... den they talk about e filming again... okok la... den dyon e actor again... hahaha all e best to u zhanhui... den we walk to Kbox... paradix centre... den sing a few songs... den dun feel like sining liao... coz i've thinking about e sms dyon receive frm his ex... e previous day... to dyon: "i miss you"... i felt veri sad n veri scared... i dun want to loose him.... den i decided to sms dyon bout it... telling him what happen to mi n how i feel... hoping to release e uneasy feeling in my heart... n yes i did... went to his hse to look for him n ltr we jus hug... n he told mi... y?? wat happen to u??? dun wori... dun b sad ok... i want to cry but his siblings are there... n i jus close my eyes n hug him... den ltr dyon came in e rm n said his ex galfrend e simei is here... OMG... 1st time saw her look veri nice but a actor... dats wat hubby u say hor... she can go join mediacorp but mayb canot coz she is fat... hm... hahah mi veri bad hor... den i want to go hm wan but dyon dun let mi go off... cant bare... den 10pm dyon mommy e boyfrend sent mi hm... so is dyon too...

missing u everytime when u r not around... veri uneasy...
dreaming of u everynite... creating sweet dreams... veri gud...

nites to all couples... may all have a sweetest memories..

2007-02-25T00:15:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary,

yesterday was e best day of my life... coz 1 we go irene hse for CNY... got PK thiamlye enghan aster lirong boonkiat chimlaing wanqi simon yvonne n dyon hubby... den kinda fun la... den ltr simon n yvonne... sigh... nth to say simon arh... spoil e mood... den dyon go talk to him he cry talk to yvonne... no nid2 say i know her pattern... as usual will b e a ok gal... coz my boss... chat here n there den disturb yvonne when she is eating... hahaha

next we go heeren to collect money frm lionel... sian arh... mi n dyon drop down at somerset mrt.. den have to walk a detour den i can realy reach heeren... den wait for him piss mi off... until dyon hav to claim mi down...

reaching tiong bahru station... mi n dyon go eat ice-cream... den walk to ben hse whr got yongsiang irene chimliang PK wanqi simon thomas ziyang... arh sian... den i jus stick to dyon everytime ziyang looks at mi... den dunoe y dyon keep winning poker...

den he drag mi to his aunty hse... den they gamble again... we went there... i was so shy so is dyon... i jus sat there n drink n smile... den when we r about to go off... his aunts all disturb mi den ask mi to farewel to his grany n aunts n worst... most embarrass is hav to call dyon's mom mother-in-law... OMG i hug e wall liao... n blush all e way... den we go dyon's hse to put down e computer... his new computer come liao... but veri unhappy ltr he will shoot them 1 by 1... den fetch mi home... uncle jeffery really drive veri fast... cool man... but i never wear seatbelt... his curvles veri nice... but he did tailgates... veri scary...

reach hm... jean pass mi e angbao except e f***ing aunty... qingqing's mom... never give... f u... den mom smell i got another perfume on mi.. hahaha its hugo boss man's coz dyon n mi... erm... hug hug... den e smell too strong liao... den i admit... yeah at last tell her liao.. but she ask why my bf is younger den mi 1? hahaha.... but its gud dat its out den staying in my heart for quite long veri uneasy...

2007-02-23T23:43:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary,

yesterday i said yes to some1 i love... yes to b galfrend... not wad u thinking yet... haha... i was still thinking wan2 accept him 1st anot... but it was kinda weird frm e starting... coz haha cant say will shy... in his hse... in his room somemore... it took very long to ask me... while i jus sat down there... quietly waiting...

after going to J8 to look for new clothes for myself... ppl tot we r lovers but we r not... jus dat we r veri veri close... den wen2 e arcade dyon play maximum tune... its a new arcade... guys u can go try... den after dat we go dyon hse n all it happen... he told me his mum is not at hm... unexpected his mom, mom's boyfrend, aunt, siblings, cousins n maid r all at hm... arrr so shy... den somemore hold my hand go in... i was blushing... den e fun begins... whr u can really sees a guy... no other den he is DYON blushing... so cute... den i stay at his hse until around 930pm lidat... den he fetch mi until amk mrt... den i go hm lol...

remembering we chat n chat... frm past to present to future... really no secrets... den knowing each other better... he is really a nice guy so is his family... den jus can blush out of no whr... lots of my frends dat he is a kind but there r more ur never know about him... when e starting of my feelings wif dyon in his room... i jus suddenly had flash backs of my previous ex... nic... den after dat i jus stare at dyon's eyes... n there its gone... forever... not coming back anymore... whr there... cant say more liao... willl shy... hahaha...

i hoping u to b my perfect guy... try to make ur weakness to strength... muax hubby i love u no matter wat... i hoping dat we may make our future a shocking n wonderful to everybody... ok? Muax

2007-02-19T23:07:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary,

i had done a veri big mistake but my frends say he canot make it... i jus dunoe... i tot all his mistakes r making mi go crazy but i forgot if i cant accept his mistakes who will... i realise dat i had fallen veri deeply in love wif him but he keep saying he's useless... why cant he change to a better person... to my better person... why... i jus wan him to find a better future for himself... reguardless m i going to b his 1 or not... but as least he got a degree den nth... why is he so stubbon... n why m i so stubbon... why i nw jus wana love him as be4 but i did a major mistake... n i dun wan a great guy like him to jus leave mi...

Dyon, yes i did win... but i lost some1 i love..

never say... a failure will comes wif u no matter whr u r...

there r ppl who r really worst den u... cant u jus open up n c... dun b stubbon... u can b a successful person... pls wake up...

coz i made up my mind n i'm willing to take e risk... (sorry jean n shuyu n frends)

no matter whr u r i will wait for u...

Will i b e one of ur dreams to accompany u walk e red carpet n to ur death bed???

2007-02-18T23:37:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary,

today jus dunoe y keep thinking of dyon den my cousin go disturb him using my hp... manage to settle asap... den take so little angbao... sian... mr little cheeky boi wishes mi to kis him but i hav to decided veri long lo.... den nite time... chatting wif shuyu knowing dyon more den wat i expected... he is suc a flirt... OMG... tiffany caught him hugging wif another gal last wk... wat e??? why ?? now i so heart pain... den i tot.... f*** nw i dun wan to care... y guys mus b lidat... no y i mus b lidat... fall for a guy so easily... y god Y mus u do dis to mi... y give mi guys to love but in d end i m e 1 end up wif all e pains n torns in my heart... Y??? y cant b jus like other ppl so loving... mayb last time i may did smth wrong n i dunoe... y cant we jus sit down n talk so u tell mi... u think i got super senses knowing wat i did wrong... i soo heart pain.. soooooo pain... like my previous break-up... y... last time lidat nw also lidat.. y... y... y... i jus wan2 find a guy den can b wif mi all e way to my red carpet n to my death bed... is dat so difficult...

cant think anymore... too pain...

2007-02-17T00:48:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary,

today... go out wid PK dyon den wanqi came after her work... den irene jus come to give mi my video camera... den we go watch movie... den dyon ask mi can wait for him anot..??? i jus say c1st...

jus dunoe wat to say... coz i dunoe wan2 accept him or not... or jus wana b frens onli.. but somebody (my ex) jus mistaken us liao.. tok i n him r together... but we r not... but making mi veri confused... y telling mi all dat... n yes i'm slow nid time to understand bah... n i jus find e time is not rite... den we chat even more...

dyon yes he like mi but i cant force him not to like mi... its natural... n i nw jus nid lots n lots of thinking... these few days we r very close but not veri close la... dyon is really sweet n a veri nice guy... n a veri gud gan-dear... showing mi back wats love again after i lost frm my previous break-up he is always there for mi... but currently i cant find any clemistry in us yet... but life mus still goes on... n i'm veri scared of following back my footsteps... liking dyon is like liking ***** coz they r frm e same post... taller den mi... got nearly e same personality n character... n was my veri veri close GUY FREND... i m afraid to hurt dyon as i have hurt ***** very badly... n another 1 ziyang... waa kao...

i now dunoe wat to do... Ms confused liao...

THINK THINK THINK....

2007-02-16T00:00:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary,

1st day of work in dis wk.. n e last day too... jus for dis wk onli... hahaha... jus nw during lunch quarrel wif my dad... bout poly... jus wana kill him wif my bare hands... den go bt timah there find melvin to get back my $6... he owe mi since e success show... den after dat go dyon gan-dear hse... dunoe wat is he up to next... transfer files.. n listening to music... talk cock... den play psp... den i tickle him den he... HUG mi... OMG... but its ok jus a HUG onli... den his uncle came back... veri funny thing was his uncle tot i his gf den disturb bof of us... i shy liao... den jean online den we go disturb her... hahaha make her angry... den nw he say he like mi... OMG... shock again... ezit a crush... a like....

dunoe... but nw i veri confused liao...

2007-02-15T00:08:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary,

soo happy i register myself in RP n hoping to enter there... den Valentine Day...

14 feb 2007

when to skol to pass my valentine gifts... n shirley teh accompany mi go eat breakfast... den rasul den dyon... den we chat lol... out of no whr saw ziyang... sian... den he say wan2 give mi presents also... OMG... i going to faint liao... den dyon n rasul.. smoke... 1 kana pinch 1 never but i will take my revence on u rasul didi... watch out... den they all go back skol onli me n shirley wait for them at my favourite spot... den call ben yan to wish him a happy 18 bday... hehehe... tooo bad i got no presents for him... den sing song chat cool man... can relax... den wait for irene to pass her her valentine day gift... hehehe... den she n zhanhui come den dyon n mi n shirley supposingly wait for them frm busstop to CSC den go drink den to SIM LIM SQ... go pei mr john also buying a valentine gift for his gf... hahaha... den we go watch movie at suntec... Jus follow Law... nice show... i treat dyon den ltr no $$$... DEN smth happen between mi n dyon... he la wan2 hold my hand for dunoe wat reason... den go hm in e train... dunoe y... out of no whr go... kiss mi on my cheek... i stun... n was veri slpy liao... but e whole day was fun coz got laugher n love... coz i go out valentine day wif irene... so rest of e laopo... no gift liao... muaaaahhaha...

2007-02-06T20:45:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary,

Valentine's Day is coming... every couple is having fun... while mi i think i gonna stay at home bah... Single still got its adv n disadv lol... sigh... haiz...

Working working n working... for wat??? $$$$ only... den today irene come take e v cam for her commerical ad... all e best... gud lucks... den my sis on channel newsasia blogtv... cool... laughing all e way man.... so funnny... den chat wif grace my long old frend frm sec skol...

Grace if u c dis... hope we got another integrity outing dis time i wil bring no1 but myself... promise... 0( 'U' )0 cant wait to go out wif ya guys... mis ur so muc...

dateline to hand in my portfolio for e nyp poly is really around e corner... n i'm able to countdown e days... OMG... wish mi luck to enter NYP poly... if not i dunoe whr to go liao... scared... 0(T . T)0

2007-02-04T15:19:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary,

so many days i haven update u... so sad these days n so stress up wif e poly portfolio... dat day on jean bday... e day we finally graduate out of ITE happy but missing everybody there... den at e amk mrt saw dyon sigh we all got no words to say to him liao.. den we ltr go to an indian resturant to eat... chimliang came along too... hot n spicy man... 2 thumbs up.. den go jean hse play ps2 wif her bro n chit chat too... took e mdis form frm jean too... n yesterday got company buffet n bbq bbq lamb live crab gud man... somemore got sotong fish n etc... after e buffet cum bbq, i went up to do my stuff... den chat wif shuyu n ahpieng e whole day until 2am+ so tired... do onli 1/2 way e design... nw blogging still dun wan2 do... wait kana scolded by my mom... hehee... better go do my unfinsh work... chao...

2007-01-30T23:06:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary,

dunoe wat to say... coz work work n work lol... until stomach pain... forgot to drink also have... go home kana scolded by dyon... sad... den nw blogging chitchat lol... BORED....

2007-01-27T21:47:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary,

today went back to AMK ITE to accompany irene coz she wan2 c e new intake interview... den jean also suppose to come along 1 but she's slping... den we chat wif e new intake... but its kinda fun noeing new frends... den lidat lol... around 12nn dyon went off but ask him to wait for us at e busstop den together go off... at e mrt, dat dyon go wear my sweater n go met his frends den dunoe y so happy say wan2 slp wif it den i told him if never give back i go his hse n take back den he even more happy.... dunoe wat is he thinking.... den our trains arrive n mi n irene wen down to bugis for e NAFA open hse so-so i can say... but fashion design 1 hahah... shoot 1 of e teacher art piece coz e bottom to sexy liao... den we wen down to meet wanqi n i go buy socks too... 5 for $10... den saw simon wif wanqi... den we go eat den go suntec den to marina sq... walking around lol... i think simon noe i like nitemare be4 x'mas toy... den try to catch 1 for mi but too bad he cant... so ya dat dyon settle thing so long never come... den walk walk den go home... so paiseh fell aslp in e bus... den nw watching vcd asap so can return irene...

2007-01-26T21:01:00.000+08:00

Date: 25 Jan 2007

Dear Diary,

yesterday was a happening day for mi.. 1st i suppose to meet irene jean n xiuting for e filming meeting n we discussed... den ltr junjie came coz its good to go NYP open hse together u c... den cash msg mi... den i straight away pass e phone to xiuting... coz i think every1 there is afraid of her... E WORDS DAT COMES OUT OF HER MOUTH... den we go popular den i ask dyon to meet us there.... saw jackson kor otw there... n Eric my new friend reach kinda early... den still new to e place here... he got lost den manage to find his way to Jubilee Centre... whr i meet him at e enterence of popular... we know each other thru friendster den msn ltr den decided to meet him lol... den we went to play a game of acrade... as usual fun... den cash call when i was driving daytona 1/2 way... but i pass it to xiuting... haiz... den we went to NYP lol... we walk there not becoz we wan2 excerise but coz most of us is carrying a adult ezlink... dats why lol... kinda angry wen dat dyon cant hear mi calling him thousands of times... den we reach n met cash.. junjie sigh coz saw cash he sian 1/2... haiz... den we walk around den jackson korkor wen2 back to class... haiz... hahaha me wan2 get guys number but veri paiseh... n no cute 1s to c... but lots of guys looking at me... dunoe... mayb wear to little liao bah... hahah... den we walk less den a hr be4 we head back to AMK ITE... den go find mr john mr herman n other teachers... den sit n wait for chimling to end class be4 going to bugis eat n play pool... den trying to pull dyon wif mi but fail... den we went off n chat in e bus atw there hahahah... den wen2 e place fabian intro in e end close... but manage to get smth to eat ltr n play pool... a veri nice place to play n relax money also veri nice too... den we wen bac after dat...

Today:

Dear Diary,

today as usual go my mom's office sian... sian... sian... den boliao go msg ppl hahaha i crazy liao... o ya... morning i receive a call frm dyon lois was beside him... ar... i mis her so muc... hope to noe whr is she working at den can go find her... tml going NAFA cool man... can go find jenny mommy... yeah...

2007-01-22T22:36:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary,

how r u??? so long i never come n update u liao... sori i'm been busy wif my work n filming... nw helping my mom in her office n recently got sick 1st was a slight flu den flu den headaches den sore throat cough n lots of funny other stuff... nw everywhr i go i carry a tissue box veri funny lol... but bopian... den blow until nose goes red n pain... think internal injury liao... inside veri pain like burning lidat... hard to breathe... den filming also got some teachnical probs... y got so many things happen dis mth... dyon also say my bad luck CNY will b gone so let's c how ba... nw veri tired n uncomfortable every day... sian... if i'm not wrong nic chat wif mi dunoe y... but too tired to think liao... so tired....

dun feel like living... e pain in my nose is killing mi...

2007-01-15T20:40:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary,

today never work... went out to meet xiuting irene n lionel kor... but i was early den meet irene 1st den we go c vcds den go acrade play shootin... den go kopitiam talk bout e filming we gonna take after chinese new yr.... nid2 spent money liao... den no money today lionel say wan2 giv mi but dun hav... shrew him up... den we discuss bout e filming until after nn... den lionel go off... den dunoe how we started talk about who like mi... irene say melvin.. den so many names come out... i stun lol... den go popular coz xiuting wan2 buy e driving thoery bk... tml test wish her luck... den i go c bag $19.90 onli veri cute... den we play even more acrade... irene pay... feel veri gulity le... den walk around liao... den two of them go home... same as mi lol... veri sian.... msg dyon like i forcing him to reply or mayb not e rite time bah... Sorri gan-dear... den so really bored den i decided to msg leric... den we chat lol... zhanhui cal using his frend hp to cal mi... nw his army frend come msg me... aiyo.... help arh...

wat power i have can make guys like mi??? wat ezit???

aiyo head pain le... nid a head massage...

2007-01-13T23:45:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary,

yesterday i was so afraid i'm gonna lost u forever... forgot my password... try so many times n it cant come in... so scared... wan2 cry out but cant... den msn wif dyon n eric den tell them tooo... dyon try to help mi... but eric jus noe him not long... so never ask him to help.. but dyon try his best to hack in but still cant... den so suay... no connection den decided to call dyon... told him everything n chat wif him tooo...

today wake up hurry ask my sis go help mi on laptop... den dunoe press wat button n type wat... den can go in liao... YEAH.... so scared... but nw happy... but got to thx DYON.. no him to help mi n support mi i nw like zombie at hm to rot liao... thx my gan-dear... den go out wif kor, da-sao, PK, wanqi n rasul didi... so we went bugis go find grace, emilia, n cute little sisi... hahah grace complain but e job liao... hahah... wis her all e best... hahahah... den we go eat... find bag for myself den we go suntec... den kor go off 4got pay mi... play a game of army... so few days i going out empty pockets sian.. den we walk around den go hm...

2007-01-10T21:53:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary,

i am no longer working in Pink-Q lol... jus dunoe y... jus wan2 quit e job... mayb coz too tiring liao... but really it is... n leg is wobbling liao... getting weaker n weaker... wen2 help out in my mom office... den go meet rasul after his class to pass him some items nid2 give dyon n aida.. den saw dyon wif his frends... pangseh mi evertime.... ask him go out he say ok den ltr cancelled... sad but nvm i ok... den he come frighten me but too bad i noe he's there... den rasul pass him e present i bought in china... n a fish keychain... n a cute boy-teddy wearing jumper... suppose to give den i change my mind... but in e end he took it liao... haiz... give him as a gan-dear gift... coz soo many days, weeks, mths n i never give him anyting... so i got e gal-teddy he got boy-teddy... so dyon keep properly hor... trying to b helpful but kpo in e end... knowing dyon's realtionship... but nw i jus b myself...n veri excited to meet dis new frend frm friendster called Leric... real name is Eric... a veri nice guy... but still got dyon's permission 1st lol... but rasul did said zhiyang like mi keep on saying he is missing mi... i was shock until i drink e milkshake n jam in my stomach until nw... help mi... DYON.... knowing dat ZY n mi is canot b... but hearing his name freaks mi out... Eeeee.... Hair stand....

Help... i going to nitemare tonite....

2007-01-01T00:11:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary,

today i very sad... coz today is not onli 2nd day of open hse but also inviting my frends to my hse too... got buffet as usual... but onli Yvonne Chimliang Irene Pk n WanQi... so sad... i call alot 1... saying frm yes to c1st to i busy until to No.... sian... sad until canot sad... ALL PANGSEH including some of my baby n Laopos... all my VIPs never come... tot dat i can give presents to them but no... never... dunoe when can we meet again... today they come onli watch VCD play wif my dogs... n surf net... play games... some more MSN broke down.... sian arh... but irene did something dat i nearly shock was she go beat my bear bear hubby... punch wlack hit everything... pain in my heart but ok la... n we did eat free food... hahhaah... :'( today bought my fifi go c doctor she got a pain in her leg... den doctor scared she fractured her bone... so gave mi medicine to cure her.. n a jab to numb her pain too... n lexus run out... hard to catch him back but gd thing he's not like Fifi he stay n sit... but play wif other dog dunoe is fight or wat.. manage to pull him back hm... coz carry him too heavy liao... but e rest r ok la...

k nw gts coz tml is 1 working day for mi n hug my hubby bear...

Wishing everybody a Happy new Yr... n a fast recovery for my Fifi... 4get e past n let future lies in our hands...

2006-12-29T18:44:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary,

yesterday went for an interview at tampines mall... Pink-Q dats e name... n today they call n i'm working... yeah... den she say tml start work but got open hse will b very busy so monday den i start work... hahah... i've to work hard liao... thursday i will b on my own... so scared le... hahahah.... wish me luck everybody... but i wil prove to her i can do it...

tml is open-hse woof very busy lol... families frm mom n dad side wil come... den got 2nd day for frends... so i calling mine to come down... hahaha... soem cant coem... but its ok i'm fine wif it... xiuting got work on dat day... will b coming ltr... hhahaahah

kk cant chat muc liao... me n hubby bear going to pack my room liao... chao...

2006-12-26T21:55:00.000+08:00

open-air cable seats

fun shots

Taken in a rich ppl hseE Market PlaceSnow Mountain whr e tribeIn e palacedress up time

last day lunch - bees n worms eeeee.....

At e airport - took photo wif our tour-guide

(can say most handsome guy i can find in china...)

2006-12-26T20:43:00.000+08:00

These r photos we took there....

Big remote ctrl

Look seagulls

At Shi Lin e stone forest...

Cave & e twin water-fall

2006-12-26T19:28:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary,

i'm back frm china... anyone mis me??? haiz... i noe hubby u mis me alot rite???
its cold there 0 to 15 degree C.. burrr... we went many places...Day 1 & 2 - Kunming (1) "Shi Lin" - Stone Forest a forest of natural stones made by seas leaving arts on them... (2) A cave wif a twin water-fall whr jacky chan film his movie there wif korean actress n many more cool sceneries in there... den link to a bat cave n we sat sadle up coz my legs were trembling when i reach e twin water-fall... (3) Tea-sessions... (4) Open-air cable-seat simpiler to sentosa ride but onli got 2 ppl... Day 3 - Going to Dali (1) Feeding seagulls as close as 1ft frm ur face...(2) Say gd bye to xiao su (3) 4hrs to 5hrs bus ride to dali... (4) Toilet breaks... n hse filies... (5) Meeting new tourguide xiao liang (6) Leg-massage... bones cracking n laugher... (7) Party at nite... Day 4 - Dali (1) Extremly cold wheather 4 to 5 dregree C... (2) Weak stomach (3) Jade factory (4) Say gd bye to xiao liang (5) stop for excerise our legs... get some ice-cream when u r freezing cold... Crazy... (6)arrive at Lijiang market place... shopping for ladies n children men go drink... (7) seeing a competition of 2 groups of ppl frm left n rite trying to win cheers... a new thing u never seen in S'pore (8) No Party... too tired Day 5 - Lijiang (1) set off to a mountain to see snow (2) tribe culture... veri unique so is their food (3) open cable-seats but going down is more scary den going up (4) house carriage (5) head back to Dali (6) Nite show - Butterfly's Dream damn funny, weird, not up to e standard... lighting everything... hahahaha.... keep commenting e show den sitting down quietly... Day 6 - last day (1) "tian long ba bu yin shi cheng" a palace... veri funny coz not serious in their acting... lip-singing especially... (2) dress up time - we pay 10 bucks to dress up as a character n take pics... i dress up as emperor, lynn as emperor dowager, jean as princess, rest got princess of china & han... sp we make it worth it... spenting around 15+mins there... (3) back to kunming... after diner we target xiao xu n spray him... we had fun... Overall (1) Toilets there were wow man... half door til lower den ur shoulder most of them got no locks so nid partners to help u hold on to them... (2) ppl got no manners... spitting anywhr they wan... (3) food r nice to see nice to eat but ltr run toilets...

2006-12-18T21:03:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary,

tis evening went to meet jean to pass her some letters... coz didnt got their address n wanted to send a x'mas cards to them... den no choose hav2 send by hand... but fabian is in malaysia n dyon in china... she will pass it to them be4 christmas... gd thing... dun wori bout e rest being post n a sercet msg inside too... so ur will get it on monday... jus as i tot... den after company her go eat KFC... 2 indians guys talking bout us.... shit man... didnt got my hands on them... but i didnt bring wil weapons... n no dangerious stuff there... cant wlack them... sian... tooo bad a silver chain dat some1 gave to me to match wif me astro boy... ermm... jus say i accidently went fuse up n broke it it rite be4 my eyes in jus a sec... so sad but my sis ask me to forget about it... ok nvm... going china to get more of these chains... longer 1s.. haiz den can tie around my body... ok... walking towards jubilee to go a place we cal wonderland... dats acrade.... top up $10 n onli play taping n aiming... jus wat didnt got our chances in e daytona.. hahahha... 1st time man... den we end our day there walking to e busstop n straight back hm... coz flying off at pass mid-nite... den do some typing be4 i cant blog until i'm back on 27dec hahhah... no christmas but got presents to get in my list for ltr... hmmm.... wanting to buy for everybody but i hav to cut down to 10... sori... my 2 baobei treasurers next time k n sc.... cards will do... but laopos... baby... rasul didi... aida meimei... fabian didi... n my favourite gan-dear... i try to get smth for ur dun wori... hope ur mite like it... wish me a save trip... n back in 1 piece... dats wat i'm afraid these days... dunoe y... o heard zhanhui going to film another film... so wish u luck tooo.... muax to ALL of ur... cya again...

god bless me...

2006-12-17T22:08:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary,

today wake up very early to send x'mas cards to my frends though its a little bit early but too late for me... i'm leaving singapore tml wif my family on a trip to china... on e 26 dec den come back.. sori cant celebrate wif ya for chrismas... wish i could... den didnt know wat happen to me.. tot dat it was going to b dark and ready for diner but its lunch.. lost track in time... haiz.. paiseh... den ltr dad say going out to exchange $$$ got very angry coz he talks bout my future.... asking me to go poly if not work... we quarrel... coz he dun understand y am i doing dis... stupid idiot father of mine... wish him dead since the day he slap my face... so wat he brought us good things.. i dun like... becoz of him.. i hav2 suffer... stupid... den i got angry... my mood dat i hate to show came to my mind.. "killer mind-set"... i curse he die.. i curse to rain, rain till it flood, strong wind blew went we were in e restuarant... a lamp drop... a bulb explode... e waiter trip n things were flying to customers' plates... i think god read my mind... i was so blown up... but lucky i'm able to eat my diner or else i'll b hitting e walls n tables... or ppl... crazy hor... but i was chill... nth happen... den e rain starts to calm n stop den it showers again... back at hm didnt do muc but pack for my trip... man dis is e 1st time i bring so little things.... wow shocking...

2006-12-16T01:25:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary,

these few days.. very confuse... dunoe how to live... especially in LOVE... 1 was my classmate confess to mi when he's drunk... but i say is i cant take him... he's a singapore acting america... eucks... den dunoe y jus suddenly miss a guy very muc... but stil dunoe he still liking mi anot?? but nvm i did have my fun at e grad show yesterday... den after dat... go city hall tcc to eat our diner... den go hm... zhanhui was sms mi since e whole day until i go slp... hahaaah.... den he told me smth very shocking... but it was a dream of his... very funny... den msn wif jean... kor... dat classmate's of mine... n nic... we chat... but it was ok for mi la... not hurting... i did told jean... n xiuting call in for conference... we chat until 2 3am lidat... den today went to xiuting hse to print out e cup-design competition den went down to city hall to hand-up zhanhui was wif me at dat time... haiz... den yvonne came... tot of goin to xiuting hse but think she's busy... so in e end went to zhanhui hse... den we chat... got laugher n abit memories... coz smth strikes my mind... but nw i'm ok...

k good nite everybody...

2006-12-13T17:38:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary,

today able to get my slp... wow.. feel muc better lol... den mom come back n bring me to e salon to cut my hair... they did a wash... den dry wif dis funny machine... it was my 1st time wif all this... veri funny den i took pics of it... haiz... den wax my hair too... so nw my hair abit jap.. n i can style my hair lol.... yesh... tml ur can c my hair... o ya... 1/2 way dat time... zhanhui n pk msg mi... bof saying they r bored... haiz... 1 bored 1 in camp... haiz... ltr gonna take picture n put in my frendster so ur can go c... den nw my leg feel weird... morning until nw... like got a spiky shock pain after a few minutes... ouch... k gtg to go bathe liao... hahahahah.... rmb to check out e my new look in my friendster k....

2006-12-12T23:22:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary,

yesterday was a tiring and most stupid thing i had... lionel gave him his booth to do... while he go china for a overseas trip... den leaving me wif limited info... whr i go find teacher ask... in e end making him loosing his booth... but dats e fact i really dunoe wat to do... but u still got to pay me back all e money... coz i nw under major FAP... $$$$... den went to zhanhui hse to burn e true love CD den hear lots of stories and problems too... jean was there wif me... den we plan to go escape e next day dats today... den very less ppl come onli got me yvonne boonkiat n zhanhui... coz many ppl were busy or still skooling or working some even overseas or dun even reply to my msg... 1+am den slp nw damn tired...

today was e most lease amount of food i ate breakfast n diner... went out kinda early den go meet them at pasir ris mrt den zhanhui came e earliest den me boonkiat den yvonne... but its ok la.. little ppl i dun mind but wait for onli 1hr... haiz... den forgot to top up my card be4 getting up e bus... sian... hav2 use money... so is coming back and going hm coz spent around $13+ if i'm not wrong... den most funny was i was e onli 1 wearing slipper e guys wore jeans wooo... hot man... but i at least have fun there onli $6 entry fees... "free ice-cream" free snack free game... not bad lah... but worst was seeing guys wif their galfrends.. den dunoe la... nvm... but good thing is we tried all e games there except e ferry wheel, kids play.... is rain too... but once its stop raining we stqart to race go-kart... quite fun happy coz manage to do to some stunts... hahahah.... den play some more at e time.. in deed nite is better den e day... den mi n yvonne change den we all went back... i was e 1st to go off... coz not running out of time but mom nagging me to go hm... so reach hm... very tired didnt get lots of slp few hrs onli very tired...

muax muax my dear... good nite...

waaa piang really very tired... think got headache liao...

2006-12-09T23:19:00.001+08:00

Dear Diary,

today was a day i stay at hm... aim to finish up e design but jus finish 1/2 way onli... whole day do dis den chat online watch tv.... sian sian sian.... cant go out coz no money liao... gab say wan2 tel mi something on e grad day... OMG wat is he going to say??? gosh veri heart beatming...
shawn they all come liao... den show him e designs... lynn n shawn's english to hard for me to understand man... hav2 ask them to explain wat is it... haiz... hav2 buck up my english lol... den we ate ice-cream n i got my break n watch tv... hahahahaha....

gtg nth to say mayb tml got more things to tel... o so its monday...

today dyon veri cute.. call mi saying he's gonna mis mi coz he is going to china... saying wat i wan n dis n dat... i actully believe him dat he's going today... really miss him... den he paiseh coz its actually tml... hahahha... i make him shy man... veri cute....

k gtg to muax... my dear... mis me wor...

2006-12-09T23:19:00.000+08:00

2006-12-08T19:02:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary,

today wen2 skol to meet kor n dasao coz kor wan2 pass mi doc... nid2 help him in e grad show or sucess show... den calling for chimliang aida yongsiang or anybody who got key to open e sc rm coz nid2 transfer file... den yongsiang n thomas came to e rescue... but waiting for them takes a long time.. tot of sending good luck msg den saw them coming in after their papers... nvm den... we werent talking anymore... in skol... outside... or anymore... IS DAT GD OR BAD NEWS? stil questioning myself... hmm... but mayb we werent fate to b together... who knows?? god knows...

after stepping out of sc rm it realy feels great at 1st but turning back to c lots of problem behind... dunoe how to help n they dun wan us to help... sigh... den going out to meet my dad coz he's picking my up... den chat wif baby den we went off together... he realy come skol do nth...

otw to mom office not looking back to see my skol again... den wait for my mom to end work... den we went to simlim to get some it gadgets n finding wats wrong wif my harddisk... den met a cute guy... a student frm ite dover wif a media design cert n he come out of NS too... veri cute... name... ROBIN Hood... coz he's e one who save my harddisk... den we chat alot like we noe each other very long but onli a few minutes... chatting n laughing together wif his frend n my mom... hahaha... when he make fun of mi... is like nic making fun of mi in the past... but i was very nervious talking to him... shy le... den wen off... go get some other stuff at OG my shoes at grad show.... den wen hm...

got hm i straight away i surf net... chat online n do wateva i wan.... haiz... den got msn marathon chatting den listening to music n singing along wif them too... den blogging too... wooofff.... alast everythings done..... nw hugging my bear wherever i go...

2006-12-07T23:57:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary,

today exam at 3pm... doing them for e mcq dats easy but 5 short questions... can die man... draw e camera n lightings i suddenly forget how to... gosh... den ending still nid2 finish up some feedback forms... bored man... atlast i finish everything... den i hand up n walk out... think i was e 1st gal to walk out man... seeing all my frends stil in there... haiz... den went2 canteen to get a drink dunoe whether he's stil there... den saw my didi yaowei steph limting thomas juli yongsiang.... inside sc rm... i chat wif them den not long marni appeared at e stairs near sc rm... she's done too... woof... we are 1 speeding bullets... 45min to 1hr n we r done man... 3om start i ended around 0345pm lidat... fast rite... den marni came out after awhile... den we wait for e rest to come out den... saw sean at the foyer, jinying too... manage to hug sean but wanting to hug e rest of the cute guys but didnt get the chance... hehee... den e sc ppl all came out so is cash too.... den 4 of us... me jean cash irene so amk kbox to celebrate den xiuting wen out wif her sec skol frends marni as usual to work... sigh got a news... marni workplace doesnt nid anymore helpers sian... i'm looking for a job... not in a hurry... but nid cash... saw 1 is model shots of bride... but no pay... feel like trying but stil not sure.... after singing at kbox... wen hm... body aching again... didnt noe wat happen to my knee... something wrong.. pain in my bone...

these fews days got dreams n nitemares all of a same kind... its bout him... jus cant get him out of my mind... y??? have i put too much love on him...??? i'm confuse... veri confuse... help... help... help...

2006-12-06T18:30:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary,

today is 1 scary day for mi... though i wake up late but tml is exam time... gosh man... stil cant get the notes into my head... tml i'm gonna flung it dude... but no i've got to pass it man... shit... these pass few days got problem with friendship n anything... cant ur jus be friends... going together will die ezit??? f*** man... cant stand it... supposing we all planning to go kbox den tot of asking ppl along to fun together... fabian jus wouldn't wan them to come along... hey though u hate them... but i wan them to come it mite be the last time i'm seeing them oready... y cant he put himself in my situation.. though we had lots of crashing n stupid things going on... jus put them aside n live with it... forget them... grow up... everyone is not grown up yet... i cant take my life anymore...

y am i doing the wrong things..??? y i cant do it rite??? my frends are saying 1 n d other saying 2... y ?? i nid help...

i nid2 forget them... my brain is dying soon.... HELP!!!!

n nw got dis guy in my class is liking mi... waaa kao... HELP ARH!!! canot take it man..
nw i'm hearing shits frm everywhr... i cant think straight... i nid someone to bring me back to earth... HELP me!!!

2006-12-04T21:15:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary,

2day was another boring day... wen2 to amkc to meet up wif jean den fabian wen2 facial... we play arcade coz miz it so very muc.... so long never touch it oready... den spent about $5 on the bof of us... okok.. if i say... nth to play... den ltr wen to skol... supposing to help out with ms mary but in the end... i think she forgot about it... but nvm... its over... i had a short fight with fabian becoz of nic case n mi... cant take feel like killing him straight away... cant he jus shut his mouth... keep on repeating his words... 1s is enough... nag nag n nag like grandmother... no even worst... den manage to cool down within a few minutes... den we were back to normal... hiya... libraians is like dat... talk about fairest... sian... lets drop e subject den waited until chimliang n yongsiang end class.... wanted to go out but... no program after dat.. everybody wans to go hm... sian... den jus in time mom called... den bought hm jean's speaker... she didn't wan it... so i took hm lol... nw arranging the x'mas cards writing them down... who to send to... nth mus to do... sian arh... didi msg mi... den talk bout nic... haha talk stupid things... didi e best man... nobody knows e real mi beside him...

wishing u all the best... in no matter wat... good luck in ur exams...

2006-12-03T23:48:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary,

today as usual lol...able to wake up late... so we decided to go expo... den so crowded wait very long for a carpark space... den we hav2 walk very long to expo... den wen2 john little mega sales... den walk around bought lots of things... den e queue tooo very long... saw adrain too working at akemi... whole day very bored... n tired... ate 2 meals only... den nw chating using my new webcam i jus bought in PC fair...

everyday missing him... Y???? so pain...

2006-12-02T19:57:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary,

these past few days very stress... not in my studys coz finish handing up them liao... but seeing him everytime very stress... Y?... is dat very hard... we hardly talk oready... if i'm standing here he will be far another corner... if not its the opposite... very sad... exams r around e corner... den after dat wait for results to come... nw finding work to kill my time... marni n jean intro mi G2000 whr marni had been working full-time not long... today was a boring day den went to my mom office to help out her stuff... den we head down to bugis... supposely buy shoes but mom say tooo high den in d end i bought a black dress but soo many ppl were trying e same thing den i not happy... so i'm going to modify den graduation i'm gonna wear it... so ppl mus take note of mi... e new verni is here... i going to cut my hair soon not dat short when i told my frends about around my shoulders length... den my front got like fangs looking.... very special... nw is to get shoes for it... hm...

nw getting weaker n weaker... eating lesser not like my past time... help ppl settle their n is ppl settle my food... sian... Y??? i'm soo lonely... so sad... i heard news bout y he dowan mi... y we cant b together... so sad... SORRY!! i'm so SORRY!!!

GOD Y MUS U DO DIS TO MI... Y? WATS MY PAST LIFE? Y I MUS END UP UNTIL LIDIS??? Y?

2006-11-26T23:54:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary,

2day didnt got any sleep well... as usual tossing n turning in bed... now so tired... in e afternn wen2 meet jean be4 vgoing to drving centre to register our names... den eat our lunch n wait for fabain... den wif 1hr we at amkc walk walk... bought a pairs of shoes for skol... haiz.. tml ppl wil c e new mi... hm... stil got 1 thing haven do... den becoming e new mi... haiz... these few days my stomach is either getting hungry very fast or having pain... dunoe wat happen sia... den we wen2 xiuting hse to do our work... den work until kinda late around 9pm den we leave her place.... we have lots of talking playing n bit of counciloring at her place... but ok la... den we wen off... reach hm... my hp as usual very silence.... bored... y i stil cant forget him... y?

2006-11-25T21:48:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary,

today went out to meet dyon 1st den go down to bugis to meet jean... stil as usual cant forget bout him yet.... i told dyon... he said it takes time... yeah he's rite.. now trying my best to forget him... i hope... so pain... he whisper to himself, he n u are nomore, good..., saying i got no freedom wof him... i didnt understand wat he meant... but nvm. after dat day i everyday dream bout him... so pain... so tired... den try to hyper myself to buy lots of things but in e end didnt got anything for myself... but saw clothes n shoes... asking my mom to buy for mi liao... very nice mayb i can wear to my guad... hehe... i've began to change.. alot... cant b my old self again... no... i wan to b stronger n dun let dis stupid guys cheat mi again... no more u hear no more... i was suc an idiot in e past... i make sure those who hurt mi be4 n nw... U WILL REGRET... U WILL... 2 days didi cal mi to check out on mi... tink he wori bout mi... or smth else... nvm... dun wori i'm ok... nw got to concentrate on my studies... final term liao... if not i go work at my mom's office.... learn to open business... or go poly or private... try to stride in to poly learn business or design... think nw feeling muc better...

2006-11-24T09:32:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary,

2day is my most heartbreaking day in my whole life... he's gone... he walk away taking my heart out of my body.. so sad... why mus u do dis to me? why? i dunoe how he feels? i dunoe realy... u didn't tell me i realy dunoe... after e msg u send... i didn't noe how to reply... i ask u whether u will still come back to me... u cant confirm wif me... wat e hell is dat? u dun wan mi to interfere wif ur stuff i dun... but heard frm marni saying e stuff i was even more heartbroken... why mus b when i'm so sick u hav2 leave mi... why? i couldn't figure it out... in e 1st place y mus u like mi... in e 1st place mus we stead.. in e last place why mus u leave mi... i cant tink now... i'm so confused... did i did smth wrong? dat mus u realy leave mi... i gave u my love n u do dis to mi...

I HATE YOU... NICHOLAS... I HATE YOU...

I LOVE U SO MUC N Y MUS U DO DIS TO MI...

I WILL MAKE SURE U REGRET...

I..... HATE...... YOU......

GOD! are u happy nw.... u win... god u win... u took ur revence...

i'm so sad.... why?

2006-11-23T09:08:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary,

we are back together again... so happy... yesterday was our 1month aniversary... he give me a bear n a pink tigger... i gave him a dog kinda looks like him... but sad too coz he's busy these few days... n he stil hav his council too... we seldom msg to each other already... bored without him... wanted to take neo-print with him since he cut his hair... but he got no money... i tot of paying it... but my mood-swing... so bored... today come to skol wif cash... marni sick... we sat at e CSC tables there... waste our time chit-chating... but my purpose sitting there was to wait for him... den he came but he didnt say hi to mi... heart pain sia... jus a hi were make mi happy e whole day... but sad now... why? nvm mayb he's too stress... somemore he ltr going to simei ite investiture... ltr after PE dunoe go whr everybody busy... arh sian again... asked dyon he whole day not free... sian arh.... ltr stil got PE test... den go back to sc rm so sian... went out for lunch den i bought smth for hubby to munch in case he's hungry... ahpieng came den we play monopoly as usual he won again...

jus came back frm causeway pt jus bought 3 hairbands... den went back hm... life is so bored wifout him.. everytime he msg he wil jus say uh ok... i'm so scared when he reply dis... i'm afraid we wil b drifting further n further away whr nw we r starting too.... heelP.. I dun want dis to happen.. but y mus u do dis to mi... u said u want2 study... nw u say u wan2 b alone... hubby wat happen to u... u've changed.... i wan my old hubby back.... PLS COME BACK... HUBBY WHR R U?

poem:

On the 21st October 2006,

love came and brought us together,

i was drunk that day and u took care of me,

i was so shock but happy, thank you.

we both were scared,

u were afraid that we will last very short,

but we didn't,

i broke ur record.

i was afraid that we might not last forever,

but we pray not,

and u told me, u gonna married me,

i was happy, thank you.

u told me stories of the past,

i was heart broken,

but i finally found who i was looking for,

it's YOU...

you saw me with my other guy friends,

u got jealous,

i was with question marks,

but i now knew them,

i was happy, thank you.

you and your past,

heard them from my best friend,

i was very sad until now,

unforgetable,

but i try to forget them,

but now i'm ok.

i let you take something that i never

gave to other guys,

my true love,

i never forget it,

we were happy and shy.

Haiz.

our 1month aniversary,

we were happy that we chould made this far,

we ex-change gifts,

they were all cute,

i hug them to sleep every night,

i was happy, thank you.

exam period is coming soon,

we have to study,

we are starting to drift apart,

coz you said you want to concentrate,

i gave you space.

soon you leave your toy cars at a corner,

and start to read books,

i wait n wait,

waited till i ask.

Why wouldn't you wana play with me?

you said you want to be alone,

now leaving you in a big library,

waiting for you there at the same playground to

play with me again.

_end_

a shout-out frm me to you:

good luck in your exams Hubby,

a single sms you send means a lot to me,

even a HI! will too also brighten up my day,

never feel being alone when you got a someone special by you side everyday...

treasured what you have now before the time past

and it's too late to change....

2006-11-20T10:07:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary,

dat day in e bus i tot he was mubbling smth i heard he ask for a break-up den ltr i ask him back to confirm... i think we had a mis-understanding... he tot i was angry but i was totally break down... i nearly killed myself in front of him... Y?

yesterday was my worst day eva... nic ask mi for a break... he was confuse becoz of e question i ask him... at nite before my diner... i msg him whether he wan a morning cal 2day... he said anything lo... i was knew wat he was thinking aready... DAT QUESTION... i couldnt believe he still thinking of DAT QUESTION... i told him if u were o think of DAT QUESTION i wil kil myself... all i could think of was to kil myself... i'm heart broken... i want2 cry out loud but i cant my family were beside mi... i have to put up a face... indeed i ate very little dat nite... i msg jean n told her about it...on our way back hm i felt sick... wen i got off e car i rush to e toilet... i vomit my diner out... i cry a little... den jean call i answered in tears... but we end quite fast... den i slp very early... i cried n cried... i couldnt take it anymore... i ask jean to talk to mi... but she ask mi to slp early n she even supported mi to die at hm... coz i was coughing badly... we hang-up... i cry even more... hoping dat he was there hugging mi... but no...

2day...

i didnt slept well thur e nite stil thinking or him... i dreamt he was drifting further n further away frm mi... i couldnt find him... i didnt went to skol... 1 reason, i'm sick 2, i dun feel like... if i would i wil b jumping off e buliding... or banging walls till i bleed or fratured my bones... i call him ltr... n ask him about wat was he confuse about... he say becoz of DAT QUESTION... i straight away told him... i going to die n hang-up... n off my hp... i on back again... he call around 4times... i didnt pick up... i cry again... i tot dat he was my 1 n only last... but y mus u do dis to mi... he msg i got e answer... aniwae i have made my choice n i wan2 b wif u... i was like thinking... ARE U PLAYING MI??? IS DIS A GAME? WAT M I SUSPPOSE TO DO? LAUGH? Y? Y? i dunoe wat2 do nw... den marni cal... i told her asking her for advise... she say he's not worth it... jean told mi e same ting... but in my mind heart soul HE IS E 1.... he is e 1 i'm looking for... but y mus he do dis to mi...

I'M SO CONFUSE... o(T Q T)o

HUBBY WHR R U? I MIZ U? PLS DUN LEAVE MI? U R E 1 I ONLY HAVE...